Mother Of The Bride Wedding Toast

toastYesterday’s Morning News featured an advice column that included recommendations for wedding toasts (e.g., “First I’d like to toast my favorite relatives: Uncles Jim, Jack, and Jamie-san, and how about a little shout-out [look at mom] for someone’s favorite El Capitan-o Jose Cuervo”).

As is typically the case, there is little offered that can be used by the Mother Of The Bride to salute her daughter’s marriage. I, however, have some experience in this field and may be able to help.

The woman in my life was concerned about the toasts at her daughter’s impending marriage festivities. Naturally, my sense of gallantry compelled me to compose a thoughtful, celebratory Mother of the Bride Wedding Toast studded with significance and fraught with feeling.

Although the bride and her mother seemed happy enough with my suggestion, the toast was, inexplicably and lamentably, never used. That wedding’s loss can now be your gain. I am now releasing the toast to the public domain. If it fits your situation, raise a glass and let ‘er rip.


As Mother of the Bride, I want to remind my daughter and her husband that, although today’s celebration is the culmination of much effort, prayer, and hope on your part and on the part of your friends and families, a wedding is a beginning, not a conclusion. On the occasion of your marriage, you may well wonder what your lives will look like twenty or thirty or forty years from now.

Let me read you what a wise man once wrote:

You can marry, pursue a career, and raise a family – and after your children are grown with families of their own, your life can be even more spectacular. When you’re mature, love can be more intense, romance can be more fulfilling, and, yes, sex can be incredibly better than when you’re a newlywed.

I know that this idea may sound too good to be true, but I’m here to tell you that it can indeed happen just that way. After all, I got married, I pursued a career, and I have kids who are now grown and starting families of their own – and sure enough, today I find love more intense, romance more fulfilling, and sex is not just better but altogether fabulous compared to my newlywed days. I’ve never been happier.

Now, I certainly can’t speak for your father about how he feels. But, who knows? If it’s been this incredibly wonderful  for my lover and me since your dad and I divorced, then it’s at least possible that he and his girlfriend are happy as well.


0 responses to “Mother Of The Bride Wedding Toast

  1. It took amazing restraint on my part to remain silent during the toast with such a perfect option. Another Jameson’s and you would have a whole new story to write about.