If Mom Were Muslim

As noted in yesterday’s post, Thanksgiving 2004 was marked by the discovery of the The Incredibly Christian Chronograph, known commercially as the Talking Musical Prayer Clock, which blared The Lords Prayer four times a day. The full promise of this piece, however, was manifest only a full year later during the pre-Christmas season when I, in the course of pursuing gifting options for Mom, Da Boyz, and assorted hangers-on, experienced, via an altogether different call to prayer, the International Maternal Transfiguration Epiphany:

If my mother were Muslim, I would expect to return home one fateful Thanksgiving Christmas Ramadan1 to find

The Mosque Clock

MosqueClockBlue
According to this listing, quoted directly from the seller’s web site, the clock’s key features include

  • Realistic voice sounding alarm
  • Really loud
  • Non-sweeping second hand
  • Clock features 12 hours cycles
  • Red Hand Alarm indicator
  • Auto-dimming of light when alarm sounds
  • Cardboard presentation box

And, this model comes in “Dishy Ivory,” “Duck Egg Blue,” and “Sandall Green.”

mgoldAlso, many other formats are available; the Golden Palace model is pictured here.

My mother, by the way, would choose the standard model in turquoise. She, being of proudly humble stock, would deem the Golden Palace “just too much.”

For the full experience, the clock’s azan (the Arabic call to prayer) can be played, either in full or, in an atypically merciful gesture on my part, abbreviated to the first third.

[Ahem, did you note the Feature listed as “Really loud?” That description is an excellent example of truth in advertising. I will add that the clock’s audio alarm is, apparently, an acquired taste that remains as yet unacquired in my case.]

Full Prayer Call

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Shortened Prayer Call

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Somewhere in a parallel universe, a Muslim guy with a couple of kids is traveling to his mother’s prefab-log-cabin equivalent where he will discover, to his simultaneous dismay and fascination, the Mosque Clock and he just may have the vague feeling that somewhere else, someone is experiencing something quite similar but a bit askew. If that kind of spiritual bond between the Ozarks and Bangladesh doesn’t warm your ecumenical cockles, …

mwhite

  1. Given that Mesomorph may be the best cook in the extended family and Prodigal’s Dishwasher Salmon would have been a improvement over the Turkey Desiccato family specialty usually featured on such occasions, a holiday celebrated by fasting might actually be a good fit for the skill-set if not the appetites displayed in these family get-togethers in the Ozarks []

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