The Squid, The Sequel, The Squalor
No, it’s still not that squid.
Nor is it this squid, featured in the Heck Of A Guy Blog of 5/4/2006.
It’s this squid
This is, of course, the iSi K8611 Silicone Squid Brush and Baster, a nifty combo tool that sucks up pan juices or marinade and then brushes that potion onto the cooking meat. It’s especially handy when cooking over a grill since it eliminates the need for juggling that bowl of sauce.
This squid is all-silicone and heat-resistant up to 600 degrees Fahrenheit so it can be cleaned in the dishwasher alongside the salmon you’re cooking or that day’s supply of Chocolodka you’re preparing.
The squid brush and baster is available at many fine establishments, including Amazon.com, which listed it at $9 this morning.
Friday Bonus: The Heck Of A Guy Contribution To Science
I was disappointed to discover, in the course of fooling around on the internet researching this post, that a group of squid is officially known as a “school of squid,” an embarrassingly pedestrian appellation for such an exotic creature and a horrid waste of the potential for a phrase using the equally exotic alliterative squ initial word segment.
And, make no mistake, there is a devastating ripple effect. 
This otherwise dandy shirt, for example, is now known as a “School Of Squid Tank.”1 Isn’t that sad?
Wouldn’t this pert tank top be even more desirable if it were called, say, a “Squirm of Squid Tank?” Much more satisfactory, right?
And wouldn’t that change render the semi-salacious pick-up line such shirts are intended to stimulate delightfully more provocative: “Excuse me, young lady, is that a squirm of squid on your bosom, or are you just happy to see me?” Well, that needs a little work,2 but you get the idea.
Thank goodness, the Heck Of A Guy Blog has no compunctions about unilaterally revising scientific nomenclature, especially in cases such as this when the aesthetics of Western Civilization are at stake. By the simple expedient of running through my handy-dandy WordWeb dictionary entries beginning with “squ,” I’ve come up with these alternatives, any one of which is loads better than “a school of squid.” 
- A squad of squid
- A squabble of squid
- A squalor of squid
- A squander of squid
- A squark of squid
- A squeeze of squid
- A squeamish of squid
- A squelch of squid
- A squiggle of squid
- A squish of squid
I am forced to conclude that the folks at the Institute For Making Up Names For Batches Of Animals, Exotic Mollusk Division just muffed this one. Open-minded sort that I am, I’ll consider other nominations; pop culture despot that I am, I’ll make a final decision on this vital matter next week.
Footnotes
- I’m sorry for any difficulty in seeing the design; this is the best picture of this product I could find. One may be forced to look very closely for long periods of time to see the squid, but many have found the effort rewarding. ~back~
- The reader may now better understand why DrHGuy was far more successful meeting women online rather than in bars ~back~
Can more than one perosn play?
A sequence of squid
A soliloquy of squid
A somnambulance of squid
A sufferin’ succotash of squid
A sojourn of squid
A saddlebag of squid
A salad of squid
Okay, I’ll stop.
Comment by Mrs. Linklater — May 27, 2006 @ 10:04 am
These are squidilicious contributions. The Saturday morning vibes from too many cartoons watched (are Sylvester & Tweety still playing?) initially attracts me to “A sufferin’ succotash of squid,” but I’m most taken with “A sequence of squid” and “A soliloquy of squid,” both of which play off the “qu” as well as the initial “s” sound. And, a “sequence” fits within the set of “group,” although from the pix it looks as though squid sorta lump together rather than que up. Of course, I like “soliloquy” just because it’s a cool word.
Comment by DrHGuy — May 27, 2006 @ 10:50 am