Random Observations From Vacation

This post updated: Heck Of A Guy Blog Updates

Apologia

This post, as you’ll soon see, is in large part a memorialization and homage to my just completed vacation. Our family’s annual trip to Hilton Head Island, accomplished over the past couple of decades in the company of the family of one medical school buddy (who married another medical school buddy) and, over the last three years, the family of still another friend from med school,1 is one of the few events in my life that has proven invariably rewarding and gratifying.

So, this is my vacation exultation.2 It just looks like my typical complaining and whining.

Golfing Population Permutations

Despite vacationing with three doctors, this man (AKA Mr. Science, Ret ) was the only individual from our group who played golf during our week in Hilton Head.

OK, Hilton Head is a Golf Destination with, according to which blurb one chooses to believe, 25 to “more than 50″ golf courses situated on its 42 square miles, and lots of doctors play golf, so it may be a minor statistical anomaly that our solo Hilton Head golfer was one of our non-physicians.

What is truly weird, however, is that 100% of the golfers to whom Mr. Science related this fact responded with genuine jocularity –and that 100% of those same golfers also found the follow-up line, “Of course, one of those doctors is a psychiatrist” très amusant.

Geosociological Positioning Statistics

Although it seems a suboptimal choice, groups of three or more on vacation who determine that they should pause, en masse, for whatever reason (e.g., to make a navigational decision, to reach a consensus on a dining establishment, to decry discourteous tourists, or just to ponder the mysteries of the cosmos) are 6.72 times more likely to congregate at the following locations than would be expected at random:

  • At the top of up escalators and the bottom of down escalators, no more than one step beyond the moving stairs and within the constraints of the handrails
  • At intersections of bike paths, sidewalks, or store aisles
  • On boarding the plane, the area just inside the airplane’s cabin door, on deplaning, the area of the jetway one step beyond the cabin door, and, during the flight, in the aisle area adjacent to the rest rooms

For every bike with training wheels, walker, tandem bicycle, and baby buggy in the group, the likelihood that they will lodge in these locations doubles

This Little Light Of Mine Yours

When a storm caused our lights to flicker, we all pulled our emergency flashlights we packed, just in case we needed them. It turns out that the youngest of the grownup3 males had a flat stomach, muscles, and good looks but no flashlight whatsoever — a shame, really. Here’s how the flashlights of the other three adult males stacked up:


I am [ahem] too big a man to disclose who had the “Roughneck” and who brought the cute little, tiny “Mag-Lites” (? short for “Maggie”), but I did feel obligated the next day to offer the two women these substitutes, which I like to think of as mercy flashes

(Note that these items are ribbed for the users pleasure).

Of course, somebody will inevitably intone,

Sometimes, a flashlight is just a flashlight

Sure.

T Shirt Of The Week

The up and coming t-shirt purchased this week was one emblazoned with
Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!


which is impressive as all get-out although I’m certain I’m missing some of the implications

By virtue of its ongoing high quantity sales and its sightings seemingly everywhere we visit, the perpetually popular “Salty Dog” t-shirt is still salty, still doggy, and still the champ:

The Critic

This is the Duke Of Derm, a heck of a guy and one of my best friends. Doesn’t he look innocent and dignified?

Julie & I even chose him and his wife to be guardians for Da Boyz should we both croak.4


Yet, he not only tortures crustaceans


but he also bad-mouths my blog

Oh, the ignomy of it all.

To be fair, he did say he liked the Heck Of A Guy Blog — he just doesn’t like it for anything I’ve written. Yep, my buddy informs me,

I really enjoy the other blogs I’ve found though Heck Of A Guy because they’re especially well-written
The Duke Of Derm

It’s friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have been forgot
Ours will still be hot!
Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-dig-dig-dig.

Lyrics of Friendship from Anything Goes

Natal Celebration Features Junk Food & Sandcastle Cake

Prodigal celebrated turning 20 during our Hilton Head sojourn with a batch of personal packages (i.e., no sharing required) of junk food

and this fantabulous Sandcastle Cake, baked & adorned in the Sandcastle5 kitchens.

He did share the cake.

Buy Verizon

Despite pleas from his father, Mesomorph, our vacation group’s only remaining teenager, exceeded his cell phone package limits in quantities sufficient to unilaterally cause a three point up-tick in Verizon stock. Note, however, that he respectfully puts his call on hold for periods of up to 30 seconds during his brother’s birthday celebration:

Big Names


Despite what you may have heard, “Hilton Head” is not named after a Paris Hilton sexual skill.

  1. Albeit one who realized that doing well as a second year medical student wasn’t equivalent to wanting to be a doctor and who consequently traded anatomy, biochem, and how-to-be-a-doctor-stuff for physics and how-to-be-a-teacher courses []
  2. It could be worse — I’m not subjecting you a slide show or to the Hilton Head Hymn I wrote this year. Or the We’re Going To Hilton Head chorus I wrote 10 years ago []
  3. I.e., someone who holds or is retired from a full-time job, makes payments on something other than a car or video games, pays rent []
  4. One unexpected benefit of selecting guardians has been the warm glow I get knowing that at least these two have a vested interest in keeping me alive. []
  5. Sandcastle is the name of the home we rent — and, no doubt, another 16,000 beach houses []

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