The Problem With Flying
Do you dread flying these days? Do you hate taking off your shoes and being frisked? Does standing in line for two hours in order to board the cattle car called coach, where you will wait another hour to take off on your 52 minute flight annoy you a tad? Does the discovery that “no liquids in carry-on” includes your flask of bourbon trigger that sense of existenial nothingness?
Are you resigned to this kind of misery as the price of living in the real world?
The Solution
Would you be interested in flying without the hassles of security? How about if, in addition, you could fly on your own schedule, whenever your little heart desired? And what if, just because we like your face, the cost of flying was reduced to the low, low price of $0? Would that kind of deal be something you would like to know more about?
Or are you the sort of individual who perhaps enjoys cavity searches?
Goggles & Heck Of A Guy Link
Welcome to the Heck Of A Guy (HOAG) Aiirport, exclusively served by Goggles.
Goggles is a bit different from, say, United Airlines.
For one thing, you’ll be flying your own plane, a sturdy, carefully rendered Cartoon Biplane.
For another, this flash flight simulator is still in Beta so close adherence to the following directions is essential. Happily, the directions themselves are simplicity manifest in print.
Flight Instructions
1. Click on Goggles-HOAG Link which should bring you to this page (without the red and blue circles):
2. Do not – Pretty Please - click on “Select A Location.” Click only on “Start.”
3. And, you’re taking off from HeckOfAHouse and flying over the Greater Crystal Lake-Woodstock-Bull Valley metroplex in northern Illinois.
4. Once you’re in the air. use your keyboard arrows to steer.
5. Wave when you fly over. Buzzing the house or crashing into house or the countryside is forbidden.
If you would like to fly from other locations (London, New York, Mars, etc),
1. Close the browser window you opened with the lGoggles-HOAG Link.
2. Open a new browser at Goggles Home, which brings you back to the same page as before.
3. This time, click on the “Select A Location” box. Select a location and then, click on “Start.”
4. Steer as before.
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