I Was Sinking Deep In Sin … WEEEEEEEEEE
Hear The Invitation; Come Whosoever Will
For your Sunday morning salvation, The [Occasionally] Right Rev. DrHGuy invites you to Objective: Christian Ministries (AKA Objective: Ministries)
It may be that only a hard-core lapsed fundamentalist such as DrHGuy can fully appreciate Objective: Christian Ministries. As the opening line of Saved! puts it, I’ve been born again my whole life. My attempt to insert a humorous, over-the-top graphic floundered when I realized I couldn’t conceive of any statement so outrageous that one or another of the churches in my home town would not only acknowledge but would joyously seize upon to incite a schism in order to cull the heretics from the congregation. The best I could come up with was
That’s pitiful. Heck, there are Vacation Bible Schools back home that would use that as a slogan for the third graders to mount in alphabet macaroni on popsicle stick plaques.
Objective: Christian Ministries
It may, indeed, be the best disguised parody online. It links to some genuine church-sponsored sites and Christian oriented news and entertainment as well as several other churches and organizations with suitably churchy names that do not exist. It professes to support a Christian youth rock ministry, denounces the teaching of evolution, suggests that readers “Make “CUT UP THE CONCUBINE!” (Judges 19) your battle cry during the War on Christians,” and, in what I consider a master stroke, promotes a campaign to shut down Landover Baptist, which is also a parody (and a pretty funny one that is itself worth a visit) but is much more recognizable as such. There are many, many atheists and anti-fundamentalist critics who have denounced Objective: Christian Ministries in the belief it was legit.1
Not To Be Missed
The Online Shop which offers all manner of Godly stuff, including the “Jesus Is The Light Switch” and the “As A Former Sperm, I Oppose Condoms” bumper sticker.
The anti-triclavianism campaign , based on the following theological premise:
Triclavianists hold that three, and only three, nails were used to affix our Lord Jesus Christ to the cross. While it might be true that three nails were used — and, in fact, archaeological evidences uncovered by Biblical researchers positively point to this conclusion — it is erroneous, and theologically dangerous, to make this a doctrinal position.
The anti-evolutionist, therefore anti-Apple campaign. Apple is accused of promoting “evolutionism propaganda” by” bas[ing] their newest operating system on Darwinism,” because OS X was based on the Darwin operating system. Many news sites, including Slashdot, referenced the story without realizing it was a hoax.
Footnote
- For example, Stupid Evil Bastard - Just when I think the Christian Fundies can’t get any sillier and Atheist Coalition of San Diego - A Christian Nation of Hate and Ignorance ~back~
They certainly had me fooled and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to some relief when we found out it was a parody.
Comment by Les — August 27, 2006 @ 9:43 am
I myself joined the ranks of the unborn again. I decided just take the direct route to Hell and get it over with.
Comment by Mrs. Linklater — August 28, 2006 @ 5:35 pm
Scince Guy is not happy with Heck of a Guy for sharing the Landover Baptist Church site, thereby making Science Guy waste half a morning roaming around there. Acually all is not lost, as Science Guy got a good deal on some “What would Jesus Do?” thongs.
Comment by Science Guy — August 29, 2006 @ 11:52 am