Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition
Or, Apparently, The Apocalypse
Is America Ready?
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Monty Python: “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition”1
Readers may recall from the Pish-Posh Pastiche Post that this country exhibits an appalling lack of preparedness, as documented five years ago in the SatireWire article, U.S. “Grossly Unprepared” For Unlikely Threats (with the subtitle No Plans in Place to Deal with Drying Up of Oceans, Giant Moon Explosion, Or Potential for Everyone to Be Pecked to Death Like in “The Birds”) and a more recent Onion piece, Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack.
Now, the Onion has revealed yet another threat for which most of the US population have taken no precautions, officially reporting what many of us have long suspected: The majority of Americans are unprepared for the apocalypse
Yes, not only are we not ready for bioterrorism, bird flu, baby boomers’ retirement, and zombies, we are not even ready for the end of the world. The Onion story points out that
Despite “more than ample warning” for the most likely means of worldwide destruction, less than one million American households have taken even the simplest precautions against nuclear shockwaves, asteroid impact, or a host of angels bearing swords of fire.
The complete story can be found at
Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse
In A Related Story
The Heck Of A Guy blog administration sadly notes that, despite the revelation of The Vibrato Conspiracy nearly two days ago in a posting, The Spooksound: Shake It Up Baby, within this very blog, which is surely monitored on a 24/7 basis by several governmental agencies, we have yet to be contacted by the CIA, FBI, ATF, BJA, FDA, FEMA, or Homeland Security regarding the danger posed by vibrating personal care appliances. The only possible explanation, of course, is that the government is itself a co-conspirator.
Footnotes
- For the efficacious achievement of maximum blogalicious gratification, the Heck Of A Guy Blog Techno-Dramaturgical Staff recommends this brief rendition of one of the fundamental elements of the Monty Python canon and, consequently, one of the pillars or the culture and cumulative wisdom of western civilization: “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.” While one can make a valid argument that this audio file and player could distract from the primary focus of the post’s content, it was decided, after significant internal debate, that the ominous tone and religious import of the Python quotation resonated sufficiently with the apocalypse to warrant the inclusion of the simple sound file. It was, on the other hand, clear that using more extensive media (for example, a video of a Monty Python Spanish Inquisition skit) could well lead the viewer astray, as it were, from blog to bog. Further, because of our deep-seated conviction that the blog-viewer is best served by proffered opportunity rather that force-feeding and because of our disdain for. loathing of, and nausea from web pages that automatically play garage band covers of Metallica anthems when opened by an unsuspecting browser, the choice, gentle reader, is yours.↩
