Knit One, Purl Two, Flog Three

Filed under: Quickies | By DrHGuy | December 16, 2006 at 11:03 am

Were you thinking about knitting your sweetie a gift but worried that it would make you seem a bit too domestic or perhaps a tad fey? If so, how about knitting, for example, “a craft pattern for which you have to show over-18 ID as proof of legal age to knit?”

Does that sound more your style?

In the December 14, 2006 edition of SFGate.com (the San Francisco Chronicle site) Violet Blue’s Knitting for Adults Only reviews two knitting knitting books but focuses on Nikol Lohr’s Naughty Needles: Sexy, Saucy Knits for the Bedroom and Beyond, which is described as “one part knitting manual of style, and one part sex toy all by itself. Why a kinky knitting book? Because, according to Ms Lohr, “Knitting turns ‘cute’ into ‘dreamboat sexpot.’”

Ms Blue goes on,

From start to finish, the book is filled with wickedly sexy pinup color photographs of hip-looking girls and guys in various demonstrations of the naughtily knitted product. Two women wrestle in cavegirl bikinis. Pasties are modeled by a sexy lineup of women who could only belong in a San Francisco burlesque troupe. “Kinderwhore” is a knitting pattern for naughty schoolgirl socks shown on two mischievous adult schoolgirls. In one adorable photo, a demure model pouts amid a pile of sex toys and hand-crafted cozies for almost every sex toy that keeps Good Vibrations in business. Lest we forget that the ingredients for marital bliss can include love, a paddle and deft needles, one image shows a babe in latex playing cards on the back of a man made into a human table by way of the knitted blindfold and cuffs she’s administered. And one delightful section called “Disobey Madame at Your Peril” [see photo below] shows several whips that can be created in an hour. So basically, if he’s an hour late, Lohr has your back.

Naughty Needles is available Dec 19, 2006 at Amazon and other fine stores everywhere. Naughty Needles Knitting has more information, including ” some dandy free bonus patterns that wouldn’t fit in the book (bunny suit, pony hood and a somewhat menacing bondage sweater you can knit without the scary hood for a slinky sweater-meat showcase).”

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