I’ve rewritten this post 20 or 30 times, and it still comes out a cliché.
So be it.
If someone is composing a list of sure-fire ways to change ones perspective in an instance, I have a nomination:
A 2 AM phone call on a bitterly cold Sunday morning from a Emergency Room paramedic explaining, as gently as possible, that your 20 year old son, who was transported to their trauma center by helicopter after an automobile accident a few hours earlier, is unconscious and on a ventilator.
Sam, AKA Prodigal, is still unconscious and on a ventilator.
The diagnoses are hypothermia1 and subarachnoid hematoma secondary to head trauma.
The treatment is supportive care and neurological monitoring.
The prognosis is uncertain.
The Twist
This almost formulaic anecdote does have a twist that requires some background to appreciate.
During a period of several months which began almost exactly three years ago, Sam’s impulse-driven behavior became exponentially more intense and dangerous. There were runaways, smoking, alcohol use, hourly conflicts with me, and much more. The “much more” included two relatively minor car accidents that led to me denying him driving privileges.
Sam then spent 15 months in Guatemala, where he was born. On his return, I remained leery of his driving and agreed to resume his insurance and access to a car only after a few months of good behavior. Since being back on the road, Sam has had an exemplary record, not a scratch to the car, not a speeding ticket. When he’s driven with me or other adults, occasions that in the past triggered defiantly aggressive driving, he’s been cautious and careful.
And in fact, a police officer who, because he happened to be at a nearby bank, witnessed the accident, informs me that Sam was driving appropriately and going under the speed limit when he hit an invisible patch of ice, causing his car to skid into a telephone pole.
Further, the hospital assures me that no alcohol or drugs were found on a blood screen.
I am embarrassed that I am grateful that Sam was not intoxicated and that he did not cause the accident by driving carelessly. Neither of those facts makes him healthy again.
The next item on my to-do list is calling the school Sam was attending. After a lifetime of difficulty and frustration with school and problems organizing his life, Sam had enrolled in a automotive tech school late last year and had, through near-heroic efforts, made B’s in his first two courses.
Fate, the powers that be, or whatever floats your cosmic boat determined that Sam would have his catastrophic accident not when he was out of control and not when his life looked irrevocably bleak but when his self-discipline, while imperfect, had improved tremendously and his life seemed to have a worthwhile goal.
It is just appallingly, wretchedly bad luck.
Yeah, I’m a little bitter.
Update: This post was — happily — updated at And Things Continue To Change
_____________________- The accident took place in subzero weather and, although police and firefighters were on the scene almost immediately, it required some time to safely extricate Sam from the car using the Jaws of Life. During that time, he became hypothermic. [↩]
My heart, my thoughts, my prayers are with you all.