But Somebody Has To Do It

March 26th, 2007 at 1:18 pm · DrHGuy · 1 Comment

Take This Job, Please

This post was triggered by Mrs. Linklater’s confession, in her blog entry, The Mike Rowe Thing, of a certain interest in¹ Mike Rowe, the gentleman pictured on the right and, more pertinently, the Dirty Job Guy on the Discovery Channel.

Although it was not clear just how important the dirty jobs themselves were in sustaining this crush, I was naturally compelled, not being familiar with the show, to find out just how dirty these jobs were.

The answer would be pretty darn dirty.

Mike has, for example, performed these jobs:

Salmon carcass counter

Hoof trimmer

Bug breeder

Yet, one cannot help but wonder, are there even worse jobs?

That answer would be Heck, yes.²

The Worst Jobs in Science

It turns out that The folks at that venerable magazine, Popular Science, publish an annual list of The Worst Jobs in Science. There are, no doubt, even worse jobs in the non-science category, but these are impressive offerings.

On the 2005 list, for example, #7 is Semen Washer. According to one individual employed in this capacity, “The hardest part is explaining it to friends.” Well, maybe.

I’m a fan of the earlier lists. 2003 seems to have been an especially poignant year with these top three winners:

#3. Barnyard Masturbator
#2. Dysentery Stool-Sample Analyzer

#1. Flatus Odor Judge

Vintage material aside, my hunch is that readers want to know the most recent #1 Worst Job In Science, and, valuing my work done in a clean, indoor environment, I’m ready to deliver.

1. Human Lab Rat
Warning: Pesticides are bad for you

Pharmaceutical companies have long relied on hard-up college students to act as guinea pigs. (Dudes, I was in a double-blind Viagra trial! And I got paid!) But did you know that the pesticide biz is hiring too?

Last year an industry-funded University of California at San Diego study paid students $15 an hour to have the root killer and World War I nerve agent chloropicrin shot into their eyes and noses. Chloropicrin is also a component of tear gas—that trusty suppressor of Big 10 sports riots—and at high doses can lead to nerve damage and death. Duuude. Because of its irritating qualities, small doses of the chemical are often added to other pesticides to act as a “warning agent,” and it’s the safety of those doses that the study looked at.

Coincidentally (or not), within a week of the UCSD study’s completion, its industry funders submitted the results to the EPA to support chloropicrin’s re-registration as an independent pesticide—not as a warning agent. Meanwhile, Congress is debating a moratorium on human testing.

The most recent listing of The Popular Science Ten Worst Jobs In Science can be found at The Worst Jobs in Science - Popular Science

Even Worse

For other perspectives on bad jobs, check out

The Ten Worst Jobs in America

Poultry processor

Street prostitute

U.S. soldier, active duty in Iraq

The Worse Jobs In History: The worst jobs of each era of 2,000 years of British history. The description of one position from the Tudor Period, for example, begins Attention all ambitious noblemen! Following the untimely death of Sir Henry Norris, a new groom of the stool is required by Henry VIII. The primary duty of the groom is to see ‘the house of easement be sweet and clear’ or, more plainly, to clean the royal rear and privy. I also found an article with a sublist of the seven deadliest of these historically horrid jobs.

Worst Job In The World: An ongoing competition for - well, the Worst Job In The World. The submission selected, for example, as this week’s worst job is Worm Taster. This site also divides winners into categories such as Worst Modern Jobs and Worst Jobs In History, which are further subdivided into Jobs for Men, Jobs for Women, and Jobs for Children. A designation apparently unique to this site is Worst Jobs in History for Animals, a list topped by Mine Canary and, my personal favorite, Sacrificial Lamb.

Worst Jobs with the Best Pay: Jobs that suck, except for the pay.

There’s No Biz Like Show Biz

Fluffer: Speaking of jobs that suck, this is an interview with a Fluffer, “the person on a smut set who uses his or her oral skills to keep thespians in the mood to emote,” which seems to qualify as one of the worst jobs.³

The Heck Of A Guy Nomination For Worst Job

The star of a TV show about The Worst Jobs

Footnotes

I.e., lust for↩
This is a tad unfair since Mike’s thing is dirty jobs rather than worst jobs, but one suspects there may be significant overlap in those designations.↩
Never let it be said that the Heck Of A Guy research team lets good taste interfere with a Worst Job listing↩

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