If You Want I'll Wear A Leonard Cohen Mask For You

The Leonard Cohen – Phil Spector Masked Ball

If you want a lover
I’ll do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
I’ll wear a mask for you

From Leonard Cohen’s “I’m Your Man”

The Horror Story

By this time, it seems, as the astute Mr. Cohen himself sings, “everybody knows” about the chaos and weirdness that marked the production of The Death of a Ladies’ Man, the album on which he and Phil “Wall of Sound” Spector collaborated. Those who somehow haven’t heard the story (and those who are just into nostalgia and gunplay) may wish to read the account of the grand finale provided in Item #8 of my post, Ten Items About Leonard Cohen:¹

The Evocation

What better time than Halloween to commemorate such an event?

And what better way to celebrate it than with genuine, way cool, certified, high quality Heck of a Guy Halloween masks of Phil Spector and Leonard Cohen?

And, if you order now, I will throw in – at no extra charge – the Anjani mask as a one time bonus. (Scroll down to see masks)

Printing Instructions:

To print a full size mask on a sheet of US Letter size (8.5in x11in) paper,

1. Click on the thumbnail of the mask you wish to print
2. From your browser window, click “File-Print Preview”
3. Adjust the printing settings to prevent printing of headers and footers
4. Depending on the browser, turn on “Print Wide Pages” or set the print size at 125%
5. Click “Print”

Enjoy your trick or treating

Credit Due Department:
The graphic of the Phil Spector mask is from Forbes.

1. Those jaded to the re-telling of this tale and those with an appreciation of the macabre may prefer the following version, which was Item #10 of my post, 10 Fake Items About Leonard Cohen:
   New evidence has come to light that contradicts Cohen’s description of the Phil-Spector-With-A-Gun episode. The following account is representative of the several similar renditions previously published:

   Cohen would later recall how on one occasion in the studio Spector approached him with a bottle of Manischewitz (Jewish ceremonial wine) in one hand and a pistol in the other, placed his arm around Cohen’s shoulder, shoved the gun in his neck and said: ”Leonard, I love you.” Cohen, with admirable aplomb, moved the barrel away, saying: ”I hope you do, Phil.”

   A sound technician who reports being present during the confrontation and claims to have been paid to remain silent has now come forth with his story, apparently because of the publicity generated by Spector’s murder trial. In this version of the incident, Spector, frustrated with the lack of progress being made on the album, had fired several shots at windows and furniture and then approached Cohen with a gun pointed toward the singer. Cohen, rather than retreating, took a step forward, executed a devastating flying knee strike, dropping Spector, now barely conscious, to the ground and disarming him. Cohen then, according to the alleged witness, “picked Spector up like a rag doll, applied a chokehold, and, just before Spector passed out, quietly said, ‘Phil, you don’t point guns at people you love. If you ever do anything like that again, I’m going to seriously fuck you up.’” Careful questioning of the witness, however, reveals that Cohen, indulging his predilection for speaking in Mock Swedish, actually said, “Pheel, yuoo dun’t pueent goons et peuple-a yuoo lufe-a. Iff yuoo ifer du unytheeng leeke-a thet egeeen, I’m gueeng tu sereeuoosly foock yuoo up.” This linguistic idiosyncrasy may explain the confusion in the previous accounts of the incident.) After Spector regained consciousness, the official story was concocted and the witness paid off to maintain everyone’s public image

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