Leonard Cohen, Iggy Pop, and The Woman Who Knew Exactly What She Wanted

What Do Women Want?
A. Leonard Cohen
B. Iggy Pop
C. Profound conversations
D. All of the Above

Leonard Cohen gives this account of a case for which the correct answer was D – All of the Above:

I visited Iggy [Pop] in the studio. Somebody showed us a clipping with a personal ad, a young woman looking for “a man with the mind of Leonard Cohen and the body of Iggy Pop.”

We wrote a polite letter suggesting we meet sometime, both signed it and placed my telephone number under it.

The girl answered. Unfortunately, her only interest was in leading profound conversations.

Let’s see – two stars of contemporary music team up to meet the exacting criteria listed by a woman in a personal ad. In return, the woman offers – heavy duty chat.

Well, that does explain a lot about my own previous online dating experiences.

Nonetheless, every time I read Leonard’s story about him and Iggy working in tandem to pick up a girl I can’t help but smile – and again ponder how to convince Leonard to sign on as my wingman.


Chagrined Addendum

Within an hour of drafting the above portion of this post, I came across The D-Bag Questionnaire, which the author describes as “a list of 50 questions … for all the girls out there who may or may not be sure if the guy they’re dating is a douchebag.” Sample items include

  • Do you talk to other girls just to make the girl you’re dating jealous?
  • Do you own a pastel polo shirt?
  • Do you have a personal stylist?
  • Does your mom still buy your underwear and/or do your laundry?
  • Do you regularly use the term MILF?
  • Do you “pop your collar”?

Happily, I am free of all listed signs of douchebaggery1except I’ve now publicly attested to a recurrent fantasy of Leonard Cohen serving as my wingman, a hope which qualifies as a condemnatory answer to the spirit if not the letter of another query on the D-Bag Questionnaire, Do you have a “wingman”?

On consideration, however, I’m willing to take that risk, especially since, as noted, this is my sole bad mark on the 50 item D-Bag Questionnaire.2 While being labeled a douche bag can’t be a good thing, the potential upside of having Leonard Cohen as my wingman would seem to rival, at least in the short run, the benefits of having God as my co-pilot.

So, Leonard, any time you’re ready to suit up, ….

  1. Heck, I’m not even sure how one pops ones collar, yet I am all but certain that I am innocent of this specific faux pas []
  2. OK, there is a theoretical risk that I might, in certain relationships, have to answer “yes” to “Are you going to correct the spelling/grammar of my flirty emails to you?” but that would only be for your own good. []