Heck Of A Guy

Heck Of A Guy blog, in its continuing humanitarian mission to address the most pressing problems facing the population segment that serves as this nation’s intellectual, moral, social, business, and spiritual linchpin – AKA DrHGuy and people like DrHGuy – offers these key references from the pertinent literature on that increasingly critical issue:

The Fiscal-Sexual Nexus: Implications For Episodes Of Concurrent Paucity Of Sources Of Secured Credit And Assured Coition

or, as we like to call it, …

The Bangs For The Buck Bibliography

1. Selling Sex During An Economic Decline

But What Does It Mean for the Prostitutes? How the financial crisis affects the oldest profession by Sudhir Venkatesh

The experience of those serving at the intersection of money and sex may lend a useful perspective. Writing in Slate,  Sudhir Venkatesh, who has “been following the lives of more than 300 sex workers—in New York and Chicago, since 1999,” notes that “those work[ing] in the high-end sector,” (half of the group he follows) report an increase in business with the onset of the fiscal crisis.

Nearly all of them tell me that this pattern of increased activity following an economic downturn lasts about six to eight months. “They get tapped out,” Caroline told me. Caroline specializes in “Internet stiffs,” her term for folks who work in Manhattan’s high-tech sector. “They party with me. Or I listen when they tell me they can’t face their kids. When the money runs out, they go back and they deal with it.”

It turns out that this occupational segment’s strategies for surviving the downturn are similar to those used by other professions. For example,

Caroline learned quickly that she had to diversify in order to survive these cycles. Now, she never has more than half of her clients in one economic sector.

It is quite common for sex workers at the high end to take men “on credit,” giving them freebies for a few months or longer until they can get back on their feet. Equally common is the willingness to reduce rates.

Summarizing, the article ends on a heartening note.

The trick to surviving lean times, says Caroline, is to be patient and do everything it takes to keep your clients. “… If you can keep your cool, it’s pretty rare that you lose money. Just make sure you keep the man happy.”

Words to live by, regardless of the financial climate.

2. The Benefits Of Friends With Benefits

For those of us uncomfortable with the straightforward exchange of cash for services and those living in small towns with an absence of uniformed pimps, the good folks at BOINKOLOGY have put together the a chart with the pros and cons of an alternate pathway, Friends With Benefits

3. A Cost Of Sex Index

Friends with benefits notwithstanding, the premise of a project published September 29, 2008 at Nerve.com is that, as per the title of the article about the project, Everyone Pays For Sex.

The question, in fact, is not if one pays for sex but how much one pays. The article by Kate Carraway reports the results of nine subjects tracking transactions in this expense category for a month. The requisite chart is shown below.

The Purpose (Excerpted)

How we spend our money says as much about our priorities as the people we choose to share a bed with, and often, those two decisions are hopelessly intertwined. Sex, dating and relationships are expensive: flowers, hairdos, clothes, contraceptives, lube, cabs, texts, dinners, (breakfasts?) — how much does it actually come to? Is being single really more expensive than being in a relationship? Are people who make $20,000 spending as much as those who make over a grand?

The Methodology (Excerpted)

We asked nine people to spend one month diligently tracking every dollar spent in pursuit of sexual gratification — everything from trolling the bars to getting off solo to full-blown romantic intercourse. Some of the results were surprising, but numbers don’t lie, baby.

The Subjects

Subjects range in age from 24 to 34. Almost all work in professional fields (one is an administrative assistant; none are blue collar workers), earning annual incomes from $25K to $120K.¹ One is homosexual, one is bisexual, and the rest are heterosexual. Some are single, one couple is engaged, one individual is married, some are dating one person exclusively, others are playing the field. Details about each are available in the article.

Results

Results are summarized weekly. I’ve provided a few excerpts to give a sense of how the findings are presented.

Week One

Coffee Yupster’s weakness is cute baristas and waitresses, which means a lot of ponying up to be in their presence and hopefully get noticed by them. “$25 on beer and food at the pub across from work. Gorgeous, friendly staff,” he reports. Two days later, Coffee Yupster buys “a $4 coffee at a hipster hot spot. Great place to people-spot on the weekends. Very cute girls. Didn’t talk to any this time. I did, however, fantasize about one of them.” That night, he spent $16 at a club. “Dancing with pretty, drunk women is fun.” Another night: $60 on booze. “Scored a makeout and a number. Have spoken three times since, but our schedules clash.” The next day, Coffee again spent $4 on coffee (“cute girls”) and $15 on drinks at a pub near the beach. That same day, he dropped $60 on a Lavalife membership: “Buckled and decided to try out online dating for a bit.” The next day, $10 on drinks at a local restaurant, because “the serving staff are off-the-chain hot!” Another $4 coffee the next day. Says Coffee: “I have a crush on a barista by my work. She seems to embody everything, physically speaking, that I’m looking for right now. We chat, but I don’t want to be a loser and break the barrier. Because there’s not really that many places to get good coffee by work.” Coffee ends the week with $15 on a kegger fundraising event: “Going for hot chicks.” Week One Total: $213.00

Biology Babe picks up her monthly birth-control pills ($20), then heads to an out-of-town wedding where she spends $0.19 on texts to her Latin Lover, who happens to live in that area. “Exchanged four dirty texts while at the wedding, revving each other up for the following day’s tryst.” Getting to his place costs Biology Babe $3 in gas. “Send two texts in a moment of delayed post-coital bliss and in anticipation of next encounter,” she reports, costing $0.09. “Went to the gym to get further toned for next encounter”: $9. The following days see one “random, naughty text” ($0.05) and one “random, idiotic text” ($0.05). Week One Total: $32.38

Mom of Two says, “I don’t have much to tell you, sadly. I got a $25 bikini wax, and I think I got to use it all of once.” A few days later, she bought $240 worth of new clothes “in order to keep my husband interested and attracted.” Later that week, she got a free pedicure at a promotional event: “I chose a saucy red called ‘Kiss the Cook,’ to which my husband responded, ‘I prefer it when you paint your toes pink or nude.’”Week One Total: $265.00

Week Two

Indie Scenester Husband-to-Be reports $200 for a hotel room, and $10 for antibacterial sex-toy cleaner. Indie Scenester Wife-to-Be reports $98.53 for steak and wine at The Keg and $73.43 for “a longer whip and nipple clamps.” Week Two Total: $381.96 Total to Date: $381.96

I Love the Nightlife spends $5 on cover charge for a gay night at his local bar, and $10 on cover at another bar for himself and “some guy.” $20 bought drinks at the first bar, while “that guy” paid for the drinks at the second spot. Late in the week, Nightlife spent $50 on a t-shirt at a store owned by a man he likes. In preparation for a (sleepy?) date, he spent $15 on a bottle of wine and $20 on Valium. The day after, $10 for a cab ride to a friend’s house, explicitly for for: “It was his birthday. That was his present.” Two days later, $20 for drinks at queer dance night, and the next day, $20 on his gay.com membership renewal.  Week Two Total: $170.00  Total to Date: $330.00

The Dude drops $9.99 on Straight Outta High School. $47.99 goes to a Fan Expo Deluxe Pass, because The Dude says this convention has “an abundance of costumed, scantily-clad female rebels. If sci-fi fans can’t find an alternative girl here, they’re just not trying.” A yearlong SuicideGirls.com membership costs him $30. “I also write for them, so I get the best of both worlds by interviewing celebrities while looking at naked girls with piercings and tattoos.” The Dude goes on to say, “Speaking of that, I’m writing an article on ‘devotees’ (people who are sexually attracted to disability). I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t prospecting for my own cerebral palsy devotee, so all reporting expenses, especially coffee or food expenses ($5.99 and $37.99, respectively) are a subtle effort to score.” Week Two Total: $131.96 Total to Date: $150.94

Week Three:

Granola Sunshine spends her third week in a sexually challenging situation: on a bike. “I went on a bicycle touring trip with that cute boy I’ve been mentioning, from Vancouver to Vancouver Island and over to the Sunshine Coast, then back to the North Shore. It took four days with a few long stopovers, and was about 300 kilometers of cycling. Hypo-allergenic non-latex condoms: $15. One trip to the rec-center sauna to clean up: $10. Baby wipes: $5.” Week Three Total: $30.00 Total to Date: $242.00

Long-Distance Cougar reports $115 on a hotel room. Her man bought the condoms. Still, she notes, “I am now noticing that the contraception [planning] — and even the whole logistics of copulation — is often relegated to my realm of responsibility. I am not sure if it’s an age issue, as my guy is a good eight years younger, but he seems turned off by the details. Ironic, because on more than one occasion this has meant losing out on some much needed S-E-X.” Week Three Total: $115.00 Total to Date: $115.00

Week Four:

Visiting her hometown, where her parents and clandestine lover live, Biology Babe “bought water-proof mascara in anticipation of having a shower with Latin Lover. $8.50.” Biology “called a friend to ensure her as alibi so I could spend the night with Lover. Got my sister to take me to a spa for a full-body massage so I could be relaxed for the evening. $200. Sent him one text. $0.05. Drove to his place. $1.50 in gas. Took a taxi to the club. $15. Paid for bottle service at the club. $220.” The next day, Biology reports: “Drove home from his place. $1.50. Took the train back home to avoid a [parent-sanctioned] potential date with someone else (and to relive the night before in my head).” The train ticket away from the other suitor cost $92. The next day, Biology says, “Called him and spoke about the future of our relationship and the date for our next encounter. $1.40.”  Week Four Total: $539.95  Grand Total: $929.80

4. The Kindness Of Professionals

For purposes of obtaining a standard by which to compare the costs listed by the participants in the Nerve.com study, I checked the  web site of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, a legal bordello operating in Carson City Nevada. There, I found evidence of that much storied heart of gold that beats beneath the sometimes-impressive bosoms of every hooker – or at least those played by Julia Roberts and Barbara Streisand.

It turns out that the women of the Bunny Ranch are not taking the current economic crunch lying down. Well, unless that’s what the customer wants.

Instead, the Bunny Ranch is extending itself to help out in these difficult times. At their web site, one discovers these offers.

The World-Famous BunnyRanch, the location of the hit HBO series “Cathouse,” has announced that it will reimburse any American Airlines customer $15 who shows their baggage claim stub at the brothel. The rebate – similar to the stimulus tax-return checks currently being mailed by the U.S. government – are intended to stimulate a warm feeling in BunnyRanch patrons who might otherwise feel screwed at 30,000 feet without even joining the Mile-High Club.

The rebate offer linked to the stimulus tax-return checks, by the way, entitled first the first 100 customers who show up with their stimulus rebate checks twice the “services” for the same price. And what, the curious researcher might ask, would twice the services entail. According to the head Bunny Rancher, the offer translates into

“You bring your $600 check in, and we give you the $1,200 George Bush party–three girls and a bottle of champagne.”

People helping people – that’s what it’s all about.

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1. The $120K is the joint income of an engaged couple [↩]