Today’s post is a cautionary tale that is part of the 2009 update of my seminal tripartite publication on mascots.1
While one might think the previous mascot-oriented posts, which included the interview between Purdue Pete and the Stanford Tree, the forced retirements of Chief Illiniwek from the University Of Illinois, Elon University’s Fightin’ Christians, and the Crusaders of Wheaton College, the courage of the Hickman High Kewpies, the legacy of the Evergreen State College Geoducks, the imagined contest between the Huskers and the Jerkers, and the one and only Bagpipe-Playing Thunder Chicken, covered all the fundamental issues of mascotedness, one would, inevitably, be wrong.
Consider this episode mascots, money, mustache, and mayhem.
From Contract To Conflagration
According to the Associated Press,2
Utah State benched its mascot for Saturday night’s championship game between the Aggies and Nevada a day after “Big Blue†the bull and New Mexico State’s “Pistol Pete†got physical with each other near the end of a semifinal matchup in the Western Athletic Conference basketball tourney.
During a timeout with 7 seconds left and NMSU leading Utah State 70-69, Big Blue confronted the cowboy mascot and ripped off his fake mustache after a man wearing a Nevada shirt at the game offered $100 to the student in the costume modeled after Paul Bunyan’s Blue Ox if he would do so.
The cowboy then chased the bull to half court, jumped on his back and tried unsuccessfully to pull him to the floor. He then started to try to choke his rival before retreating to his end of the court. Moments later, Utah State’s Tyler Newbold hit a 15-foot shot with 3.1 seconds remaining to defeat NMSU 71-70.
… The man confirmed to The Associated Press Friday night that he did in fact pay the mascot the $100, but declined to provide his name. He said he did not expect the NMSU mascot to respond the way he did.
There are photos of the tussle.
I’ve added the red circles to point out a couple of interesting responses to the donnybrook. On the reader’s right, the official at the scorer ’s table manages to focus exclusively on his work (or whatever is directly before him) despite the immediately adjacent ruckus, which features, one notes, a masked cowboy in leather vest and chaps attempting to grab a blue bull by the neck, something rarely seen in these parts except on Gay Pride Parade floats. Somewhat less surprising is the guy in the uniform and badge (on the reader’s left) who, the fuzzy image notwithstanding, seems bemused and clearly does not appear to be sprinting to break up the fray.
As for this photo of – ah, …Â well, there is just something terribly wrong about whatever is being depicted.
The Tragedy Of The Innocent Victim
We can, of course, all empathize with the ultimate victim of this melee – the gentleman who innocently offered $100 for the depilation of Mr. Pete’s upper lip only to see his newly hired agent, Mr. Ox, having accepted the contract, behave in the most unexpected and, no doubt, disheartening manner.
After all, who among us hasn’t, during a closely fought basketball tournament semi-final game, sensing that the one missing element in the otherwise perfect setting was an instance of good natured mascot hijinks, negotiated with one college student, arrayed as a mythological blue bovine representing the fighting spirit of one team, to undertake, for the fee of $100, the task of riping the mustache from the costume of another college student, dressed as a rugged cowboy exemplifying the combative characteristics of the contesting team, only to have the whole thing inexplicably deteriorate into a brawl?
Coming Attractions: The next mascot update will feature a most deserving team representative previously (and mistakenly) thought to be an urban myth.
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