The Leonard Cohen Merchandise Problem
From emails sent to Heck Of A Guy and posts at LeonardCohenForum, it is evident that selling Cohen-associated jackets, caps, jewelry, and other accessories has not been the World Tour’s greatest strength. Complaints about availability of goods, inadequate sales sites at concerts, and inconsistent offerings from performance to performance abound. In addition, word now has it that the online merchandise shop with has been described as “opening soon” since the Tour began 16 months ago will not open at all.
As is our wont here at Heck Of A Guy, we are stepping up to effect the rescue.
Having learned the hard lesson that 20 years of boredom is the best one can expect in trying to change the system from within by negotiating with Cohen management to provide New & Improved Leonard Cohen Lyrics and to consult on New & Improved Leonard Cohen Concerts, Heck Of Guy will pursue this project independently.
Yep, we are introducing the very special and fabulously unique Heck Of A Guy exclusive line of Leonard Cohen memorabilia, souvenirs, signifiers, and other goodies.
The Heart With A Companion T-shirt
I was cured, and my heart
was at ease
From “Light As The Breeze” by Leonard Cohen
Just in time for the start of the final US Tour, the first Heck Of A Guy product to hit the Leonard Cohen market is the Heart With A Companion T-shirt, featuring  the familiar Unified Heart logo …
… attached to its own Cohentronics pacemaker.
Other Merchandise Updates
Re Other Age-Proficient Stars And Fans: Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen1 Pacemaker models are also available.
Re Leonard Cohen Items Related To The World Tour Introduction To Tower Of Song:
I was 60 years old—just a kid with a crazy dream. Since then I’ve taken a lot of Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Ritalin, … I’ve also studied the religions and philosophies, but cheerfulness kept breaking through.
We are disappointed to report that regulatory issues will apparently prevent the much anticipated Leonard Cohen Antidepressant Pharmaceutical Sampler, a specially labeled collection of “a lot of Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Ritalin, … ” and other medications tried by Cohen for relief from depression, from reaching the market in time for the Winter onset of Seasonal Affective Disorder and the common post-Christmas depressions.
Similarly, talks with representatives from the Zen Buddhist and Jewish communities are stalled, and plans to launch the Leonard Cohen Cooking Kosher For Buddhists Cookbook have been placed on hold.
Negotiations with the international drug cartels and local gangs are, however, proceeding apace so the Leonard Cohen Captain Mandrax Recreational Pharmaceutical Sampler may indeed to ready for holiday gift-giving.
_____________________- Bruce Springsteen was recently the cover boy for AARP Magazine↩
You are a caution, Dr HGuy. I choked on my bagel this morning laughing in anticipation of my order. I can’t find your official Online Shop order form, so here goes:
1. I will need a pacemaker after attending four concerts on the final leg of the tour, especially after the last concert in San Jose. My order is: One LC Unified Hearts T-shirt model with Cohentronic pacemaker.
2. Does your Online Shop carry a mood swing medication for Non-seasonal Affective Disorder? It is so difficult in California adjusting to all that sun and nice weather every day, every month. It just goes on and on.
3. I don’t like to pay retail. Can you get these for me wholesale?
Well, see this: http://schronisko.art.pl/polek/audio/pict4296.jpg
It’s the only one T-shirt that my wife made for me
When will I be able to order Unified tee etc. from you?