Concert Manners II: A Supplement To The Supplement To A Leonard Cohen Primer: The Not Too Big, Not Too Little Pyritic Book Of Leonard Cohen
Leonard Cohen Touring Metaphor
Tours are like bull-fighting. They are a test of character every night.
– Leonard Cohen1
DrHGuy Corollary
And you think being on the other side of the cape is easy?
- DrHGuy
With 73 days until the scheduled start of the 2010 Leonard Cohen World Tour on July 25, 2010 in Zagreb, Croatia, this is an ideal time for those who anticipate attending one or more of these shows to brush up on their concert manners.
While this issue was covered at Cohen Concert Comportment with the usual Heck Of A Guy thoroughness,2 refining ones concert behavior is, of course, a perpetual, if self-imposed, obligation of the Leonard Cohen fan. For example, consider these unresolved Cohen Concert Comportment Conundrums:
- What is the proper behavior if one finds oneself seated directly in front of Albert Noonan in full video mode?
- Green glow sticks in 2010 – fashionable or faux pas?
- Is singing along to “So Long Marianne” authorized anywhere other than Ireland?
- If the usher obstructing an audience member’s entry into the theater doesn’t fall for the “distract him and run” ploy, is it considered legitimate to employ a medium strength taser? What if the concert has already started?
- The blouse-throwing during “Closing Time” at San Jose was a one-time thing, right?
Today’s lessons come from the good folks at one of my frequently visited music blogs, My Old Kentucky Blog (MOKB), who have compiled The 10 Commandments Guidelines of Concert Behavior, all of which are grounded in the original axiom of concert-going set forth by the author to guide his own behavior years earlier – or as he puts it,
We established one simple rule: Don’t Act A Fool
Readers are invited to compare this with the fundamental principle at the basis of DrHGuy’s Cohen Concert Comportment:
These responsibilities can be summarized in a concise albeit awkward declaration: Avoid unnecessary behaviors that interfere with others enjoying the performance.
Or, again as Dad told you, “Don’t be a jerk.”
Not all MOKB recommendations may be directly applicable to Leonard Cohen concert audiences (while one never knows what to expect from those wacky Croatians and Belgians, the recommendations for surviving a most pit, for example, seem likely to go unused) and, in fact, DrHGuy may disagree with a nuance here and there; nonetheless, these are well worth considering. A listing of the Commandments themselves and the links to the posts elucidating them follows:
Number I: Thou Shall Not Puke
Number II: Thou Shall Not Fart
Number III: Thou Shall Not Smoke
Number IV: Thou Shall Not Take Crappy Pictures With Your Phone
Number V: Thou Shall Show Up On Time
Number VI: Thou Shall Not Request Songs
Number VII: Thou Shall Respect the Personal Space of Others
Number VIII: Thou Shall Not Sing Along
Number IX: Thou Shall Not Talk
Number X: Thou Shall Not Act A Fool
Also in the guest spotlight today, we have a video by Tegan & Sara on appropriate audience response.
Tegan & Sara – Concert Behaviour
_____________________- “Ladies & Gents, Leonard Cohen” by Jack Hafferkamp, Rolling Stone, February 4, 1971 [↩]
- DrHGuy, in fact, immodestly recommends reading or re-reading Cohen Concert Comportment, which features contributions from Ray Charles, Peter, Paul, & Mary, Prince, Carol King, and Madonna as well as Leonard Cohen, tidbits such as “Clues To Determine If You Are The Performer Or An Audience Member,” and the first documented use of the term, ” Cohenphilic,” more than a year before the official designation of Cohenphilic Personality Disorder. [↩]
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