DrHGuy Lookalikes
Separated At Multiple Births
The folks at myheritage.com offer a facial recognition system that, among other tasks, will match ones uploaded photo with so-called celebrity lookalikes.
You can judge its accuracy for yourselves.
http://www.myheritage.com/collage
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From Image To Icon In Less Than A Minute
Andy Warhol Did It For Marilyn, Jackie, Coca-cola Bottles, And Campbell Soup Cans; The Warholizer Can Do For You
Upload any image of any format or size (the site recommends jpeg images of 500 pixels width for best results) to the Warholizer site, click on warholize!, and within seconds that photo becomes, depending on ones take on art and Andy Warhol, either a hyper-focused, resplendently overdetermined visualization plethoric with ironic1 insight - or an instant cliché. Either way, it’s not a bad return on a 60 second investment.
One of Andy’s own offerings is displayed below for comparison.
This photo-manipulator is found at ~ Warholizer ~
Footnotes
- To clear up the inevitable confusion among the iPodian generation, the variations of “irony” and “icon” used in this post are neither Apple products or terms trademarked by Apple. Yet. That also goes for “image,” “instant,” “insight,” and those other words in this entry that start with an “i” (other than, one supposes, “iPodian”). ~back~
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Get Animated
Favorite Animated Gif
In a September 12, 2006 post, It’s Tuesday and Shane Is In Belgium So It’s Fun-Video Day, I displayed Stickbore (from B3ta), which I noted “may be my favorite animated gif of all time.”
To see see Stickbore,1 click ~ Stickbore Animation ~,
To return to this page, use your Back Key
The Contender
Well, Stickbore remains #1, but there is another specimen from this strange species that is both interesting and discomforting:
[From B3ta]
A Profusion of Animation
While both of these animations originated from B3ta, I first saw them at J-Walk Blog. That site also has a Java-powered page that demonstrates how a screen full of a tiled “annoying background image” looks. It’s not a pretty sight - but it is eye-grabbing.
To see today’s animation thus formatted, go to ~ Annoying Background Image Page ~ and click “31.”
The other numbers correspond to still other annoying images one can explore as well.
Not for the faint of heart or those exquisitely sensitive to epileptogenic visual stimuli.
Footnotes
- These animations have a deserved reputation for not playing well together in an aesthetically tolerable manner so I keep them on different pages. ~back~
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If You Read Heck of a Guy Blog, Congratulations - You Are A Genius
Of course, if you are a genius, you already knew that
At a couple of blogs I check quasi-routinely, I saw references to the blogs’ reading levels. I found the measuring device at The Blog Readability Test, ran 1heckofaguy.com through the black box, and obtained the results noted above.
I have not been able to discover how the test operates.1 While it could measure some function as simple as average word or sentence length or even assign ratings randomly, the scoring of the Heck of a Guy content leads me to believe that the instrument looks at the degree of correspondence between concepts delineated in these posts and the collected metaphysical wisdom of the ages.2 In any case, my motivation for pursuing the matter is not at a compelling level.
Footnotes
- I did notice, however, that the embed codeincluded a link to a cashadvance1500.com, leading me to use a graphic instead of that code ~back~
- Yeah, I know that, if the test were legit, the implication would be that I make reading these posts too difficult and that good writing is writing that is clear enough that a genius IQ is not necessary for comprehension. But hey, the test says you’re a genius - what more do you want? ~back~
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How To Create An Official Seal - Part 2: Credentials
This is the continuation of How To Create An Official Seal - Part 1: The Mechanics and, like its predecessor, is part of the grand scheme to first solve the puzzle of the McHenry County, Illinois County Seal redesign and then revolutionize the art and science of County Seal design.1
Contemporary Sigillography - The State of the Art
Initially, I envisioned this post as a tutorial on the aesthetics and ordinances governing county seals.
Thank goodness, I came to my senses.
I realized that training isn’t the barrier to becoming a competent designer of seals - because there is precious little to learn. Here’s the deal.
As far as Google and I can determine, designing governmental seals in general and county seals in particular, at least in these modern times, is an ambiguously defined, erratically regulated process that predictably results in products, the artistic quality of which may rise, on rare occasions, to the dizzy heights of mediocrity and the significance of which seldom evokes notice, let alone a response from viewers unless a crisis of symbolism is declared (e.g., a religious symbol is found breaching the sacred legal philosophical barrier between church and state).
There isn’t even a name to reference the field. While the word I’ve shoehorned into the heading, sigillography, is sufficiently bloated, difficult, and enigmatic to serve this function and, in fact, is defined as the study of seals, its use in the context of contemporary county seals is atypical. Sigillography almost invariably focuses on descriptive elements of historical seals, such as the lead seal from the Byzantine era pictured below, and is analogous to the study of heraldry. Still, it appears to be the best approximation available.
That I did not discover a list of principles governing the graphic design of seals does not mean, of course, that they have not been formulated or published, but, if they have, they are not widely known, acknowledged, or followed. The final designs of county seals that have originated or, more frequently, been revised in the last 25 years have resulted from assignments to graphic artists, a competition between citizens, students, or professional artists, the work of a committee of county workers, or, most often by my informal count, the efforts of one individual, usually a county official, who promoted his or her creation among those empowered to render a decision. 2
Without a recognized corpus of accumulated seal design knowledge, the key issue is not undergoing training but obtaining credentials. And, until McHenry Community College sees the wisdom of becoming this country’s first accredited institution of learning to offer a curriculum leading to an Associates Degree in Technology Of Governmental Seal Design, the burden of maintaining the quality of this aspect of civilization falls, as do so many others, to the Heck of a Guy blog.
DrHGuy’s County Seal Design Academy: Certification Process
To qualify for Certification In County Seal Design candidates must meet the following criteria:
- Successfully complete this post
- Acknowledge the Heck of a Guy blog as the final authority on all matters relating to the design of county seals and the primary source of the universal life force
- Vow to use the power of County Seal Design only for good
Section I: Artistic Skills
In this exercise, you will be designing a county seal for your own county, McHenry County, or any other county, real or fictional.3. The only tool needed is the Official Seal Generator. Follow instructions at that site.4 Once you have completed your seal, compare your creation with these samples from nearby counties (because the McHenry County seal has been identified as “boring,” it is not included as a point of comparison).5
To meet the Artistic Skills requirement, you must be able to answer “Yes” to this question:
Is your seal at least twice as good as any of these?6
I thought so. Congratulations.
Section II: Knowledge of Pertinent Legal Principles
What’s Wrong With This Picture?
Were the following an actual seal, it would doubtlessly precipitate a lawsuit. Which image(s) would be the crux of the conflict?
That’s right. That seal has one of those crosses (see below) that have repeatedly been ruled unconstitutional.
If you missed this question, review the Los Angeles County case near the end of How To Create An Official Seal - Part 1: The Mechanics. Then take this part of the quiz again. Take care - only one retake is allowed.
Section III: Survey Of County Seal Trends
While most county seals are round, there are exceptions.
Using the shape of the county as the centerpiece of the seal is popular. Thanks to this trend, one learns that few counties have intrinsically interesting shapes.
Others just seem to be trying too hard to do too much in one seal.
Several counties, especially in Florida, appear unafraid of bright colors and stylized images one rarely sees in the Midwest. Coats of arms are popular, especially in Maryland. The stylized sun is also a frequent image.
And there are those with what the PR folks might call image problems. From left to right: Brunswick County is undoubtedly proud of its fishing heritage, but the term “dead fish” comes to readily to mind on viewing the seal. Does anyone else think Greene County’s seal moonlights as a poker chip? Butte County’s seal is inscribed “First Atomic Power,” but I’m thinking “First 45 RPM record.” That can’t really be a Wurlitzer jukebox on the Chatham County Seal, can it? Calvert County - where it’s always Thanksgiving. Goucester County symbol is, I think, a bee hive, which is a bit drab for my taste, but the real problem is that it’s ambiguous enough to serve as a Rorschach Test with predictably unfortunate results.
And that brings us to the …
Section IV: Interpretation Of Seals
In searching for the DeKalb County, Illinois seal, I also found the county seal of DeKalb County, Georgia, which will serve as the subject of your examination. 
Choose any one of the following Essay Questions:
Essay Question #1: Convincingly describe and discuss the activity the two figures on the seal are pursuing.
Essay Question #2: Explain why a county in Georgia would depict a behavior on their official seal that most of us would have assumed was illegal in that state.
Essay Question #3: Now really, couldn’t you design a better seal than that?
Grading Key: Are you happy with your answer? Me too. Good work.
Certificate of Certification
Don’t look at me. Having completed the course of study at DrHGuy’s County Seal Design Academy, you are a hot-shot, fully endorsed County Seal Designer. So, produce a seal or two, print up a document with Edwardian script and the usual scholastic boilerplate, sign my name to the thing, and you’re done.
Coming Attractions: The unveiling of my McHenry County Seal Solution is in the offing. Prepare yourselves.
Footnotes
- The McHenry County Seal redesign has inspired previous Heck of a Guy posts, including the following:
-
Sealed With A Dis
The Great Seal Of McHenry County Not Great Enough
McHenry County Eye Candy
McHenry County Seal Makeover Makes The News
Baseball, Hot Dogs, Community College, and County Seals
The Passive-Aggressive State of Illinois Seal
How To Create An Official Seal - Part 1: The Mechanics~back~
- A local example of a county official being the promoter and designer of a redesigned county seal is provided by this account of the 1981 DeKalb County Seal redesign:
In 1981, then DeKalb County Sheriff Wilbur B. Scott, proposed a design for a new ” County Seal” which depicted the wealth of DeKalb County’s resources. The County Board subsequently adopted this seal as the official County seal.
The center of the seal is divided into four sections with two outer rings surrounding the seal’s center. The upper left quarter represents Agriculture and the Rural Community displaying the many contributions to the Nation’s agricultural needs. In the foreground of this quadrant stands a stalk of corn, representing the County’s leading crop and a noted hybrid developed locally. Also depicted is a heifer steer representing it’s beef industry. An old wind mill and red barn of the past can be seen in the background along with the familiar blue silo, manufactured by one of the local industries. This section is a tribute to DeKalb County farmers.The upper right quarter symbolizes DeKalb County’s Industries and Communities. The County’s factories, business community, and employment opportunities are shown along with a train and a large truck representing the large number of products distributed throughout the world. The communities’ skyline includes the DeKalb County High Rise Apartments (home of many senior citizens) and several crosses representing the many diversified religious faiths. This section is a tribute to “Life in DeKalb County.”
The lower left quarter is symbolic of DeKalb County’s commitment to the Nation’s Future through Education. The foreground illustrates a scene from the past (the little red country schoolhouse) and on the horizon, Altgeld Hall the “Castle” of Northern Illinois University. A diploma and graduation cap represents the thousands of students educated and able to make the decisions of the future. This section is dedicated to the educators, senior citizens, and the youth.
The lower right quarter represents the numerous recreational facilities in DeKalb County that are available to it’s residents and visitors. The County Forest Preserves, Community and State Parks offer swimming, boating, fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, picnicking, band concerts and magnificent fireworks displays, not to mention a large variety of competitive sports. Depicted in this scene is a lone fisherman doing battle with the famed “fighting tiger muskie” of Lake Shabbona, the largest fish in the County. At the bank of the lake a tree line is shown, portraying one of the County’s numerous Forest Preserves. This section is dedicated to the value of the community’s natural resources and quality of life.
At the bottom portion of the seal is a banner displaying the year 1837, which was the year DeKalb County was founded. (March 4, 1837).
In the narrow circle surrounding the four quarters are the words: Service, Pride, Integrity, and Courage. These words are reflective of the commitment employees strive for in their service to the citizens of DeKalb County, IL. ~back~
- Those with an interest in American novels and sexual perversity, for example, might create a seal for Faulkner’s Yoknapatawpha County (see map below).
Just keep it clean. ~back~
- The Seal Generator is one wonderful gizmo and there are, as you have discovered, lots of fonts, borders, and options from which to choose. My only hemi-hack is for customization of the images in the center of the seal. Just select “no emblem” from the choices offered at Step 3, “Choose Emblem Options.” That creates a seal with a white center. In your favorite graphics program (or PowerPoint), crop and resize the image you want and simply paste it in the center of the seal. This works reasonably well with a simple image on a white background. ~back~
- As an advanced version of this exercise, I created a McHenry County Seal using a a random specimen from the DrHGuy Vault of Forbidden Graphics.
It may be a tad unconventional, but it is easily 12 times more interesting and memorable than any of the scintillating sextet of seals used for comparison. ~back~ - This is the appropriate question if the seal created for this exercise is the first you have ever created. If you have previously designed one or more seals, your seal must be at least six times better than any of those displayed. ~back~
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How To Create An Official Seal - Part 1: The Mechanics
McHenry Conundrum Yields Universal Benefit
The impetus for offering this project is, of course, my ongoing but as yet unrequited effort to aid and abet the elected representatives and appointed officials of McHenry County, Illinois in their crusade to redesign the current County Seal and thus end the years of humiliation we’ve suffered from affixing to our documents a seal that is “boring” and “not readily identifiable.”1
I now realize that my previous design suggestions, despite their pristine qualities, may have been out of step with the realpolitik of the region. Happily, a new vision has been revealed unto me that is nothing less than a quantum leap forward in the universe of county seals. Further, while my local loyalties compel me to offer it first to McHenry County, it is readily adaptable to other political entities.
Key to this concept is the enlightenment of the citizenry as to the practical and aesthetic aspects of seal design, which leads us to …
The Design A Seal Project
There are two philosophically disparate strategies for designing governmental seals, (1) the centralized tactic traditionally used by monarchs, emperors, czars, dictators, and county boards and (2) the more populist, every man a king approach. For this project, let’s call these The McHenry Method and the Heck of a Guy Hack, respectively.
Method #1: The McHenry Method
Supplies Needed:
1. A committee or two
2. A computer specialist
Time Required:
A few weeks for the design process plus time needed for discussion and voting for approval
Cost:
Fee or salary of computer specialist
Steps:
1. Somehow decide the County’s current seal is “boring”
2. Stipulate that the new seal will be based on the county flag
3. Hire “computer specialist” to design the new boring seal
4. Wait for delivery of draft of new seal
5. Debate and vote on new design, repeat as necessary
Method #2: The Heck of a Guy Hack
Supplies Needed:
1. Use of a computer with access to the Internet
Time Required
15-20 minutes2
Cost:
Pro-rated expense of computer and Internet access ($2-5 at Internet cafe)
Steps:
An exposition of the Heck of a Guy Hack technique, created by modestly revising Signed, (Officially) Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours, a Heck of a Guy post originally published over a year ago, follows:
Signed, (Officially) Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours
Here I am baby
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m yours
From Stevie Wonder’s Signed, Sealed, Delivered
Frost may or may not have been correct when he wrote, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,” but it’s inarguable that “No one there ain’t who, on occasion, wouldn’t find having ones own official seal darn handy.”
Oh, I suppose one could, for example, spend four years working ones way through medical school and another three or four years in a residency just to qualify to take a couple of exams, which one must then pass to earn a document with a nifty seal to hang on the wall of a Michigan Avenue office to convince patients that they are being treated by an “official” psychiatrist.
But perhaps you are possessed of the kind of noble spirit and independent demeanor that precludes begging a professional guild, governmental agency, educational institution, or other bureaucracy for that entity’s seal of approval to build a house, claim diplomatic immunity, or perform neurosurgery. If that’s the case, why not skip the time-consuming and annoying asking permission part by affixing your own seal of approval?
See what I mean by having an official seal being “darn handy?”
Yep, nothing says official like an official seal.
Nor is there is no reason to limit oneself to one seal. While I am quite taken by the black and white retro look of the Heck Of A Guy Official Seal at the top of this post, the macho federalism of the First Alternative Heck Of A Guy Official Seal shown below has its own appeal. Besides, what better evidence could there be that ones seal is genuine than its proximity to another seal appended to the same document?
And now, thanks to the Official Seal Generator, obtaining ones own official seal is so much easier and cheaper than grinding through med school or bribing a county official.
Go thee hence to the Official Seal Generator
Then, follow the site’s instructions, “Enter some text, choose a border and an emblem, pick your colors, and click the ‘Go’ button. An Official Seal will be generated for you.”
May the certification be with you.
The Non-Mechanical Issues
Obviously, one cannot learn everything necessary to create an official seal by reading one Heck of a Guy post and spending a few minutes with the incredible Official Seal Generator.
No, it turns out that one has to read two Heck of a Guy posts to garner absolute and complete knowledge of official seal design in order to use the Official Seal Generator with optimal effect.
Part 2 of this tutorial is necessary if, for example, one is to avoid mistakes such as the one described in this excerpt from Heck of a Guy post, Oops & Phooey: Seal Broken:
Bummer.
Ultimately, the only problem created by my faux pas was the necessity of redesigning my seal.3 It could have been worse, as the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors discovered when that body was first threatened with an ACLU lawsuit unless it removed a nearly invisible cross from its seal and then was sued because it did consequently remove that cross. The only means by which this story’s Kafka Score could have been increased would have been if the suit triggered by LA County’s elimination of the cross from the seal had also been instigated by the ACLU, which led the legal fight to cleanse the seal of this problematic symbol; in actuality, it was another set of lawyers who brought the suit protesting the cross loss on behalf of a LA County employee - but a guy can dream, can’t he? The former and current LA County Seals are displayed below with the troublesome cross circled in blue on the old seal.
Coming Attractions
Part 2 of How To Create A Superior Seal will include legal commentary, the graphic design principles of a good official seal, and some suggestions for using the Official Seal Generator.
And, of course, the final solution to the McHenry County Seal problem is still in the offing.
Footnotes
- See the following:
-
Sealed With A Dis
The Great Seal Of McHenry County Not Great Enough
McHenry County Eye Candy
McHenry County Seal Makeover Makes The News
Baseball, Hot Dogs, Community College, and County Seals
The Passive-Aggressive State of Illinois Seal~back~
- The design process requires 15-20 minutes for the first attempt. Once familiar with the process, the time needed decreases/ ~back~
- The account of the development of the current and legal Heck of a Guy seal can be found at (It Seems Like) The 7th Seal ~back~
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Dramatic, Yes - Chipmunk, No
It’s Hip, It’s Trendy, It’s Happening Now
DrHGuy recognizes that he has certain obligations to keep his readers up to date with the latest and greatest Internet fads and fashions. Be aware, however, that in this case, “up to date” is not the equivalent of bleeding edge; that kind of overly ambitious striving would be unseemly and undignified.
Instead DrHGuy, has synthesized philosophical extractions from D.W. Winnicott’s psychoanalytic hypothesis of “good-enough mothering” and the conceptual core implicit in the lyrics of alt country rocker, Tim Carroll’s wondrous classic, Girl That’s Hip:
But not THAT hip
to develop this criterion for “hip enough” internet awareness:
When it comes to awareness of what’s currently cool on the internet, Heck of a Guy viewers are at least one step ahead of the obnoxious brother-in-law (or his equivalent)
I.e., readers who receive yet another email from such an individual with yet another url for yet another “the damndest thing you’ve ever seen on the web,” are able to truthfully reply to that message with “Yes, I saw that some time ago; it is quite droll if a bit derivative.”
Certified Cool For At Least Another Five Seconds, Which Is All It Takes
Those wacky guys at CollegeHumor have come up with something they call “Dramatic Chipmunk,” and it’s certainly drama incarnate. It is also certainly a prairie dog, not a chipmunk.
DrHGuy submits that the coolest attribute is that the complete video runs in less than five seconds.
CollegeHumor Managing Editor Jeff Rubin insists that the clip has not been manipulated but is a cut from much longer footage1 shown on a Japanese TV show displaying the rodent. The 5 second span of “Dramatic Chipmunk” was just luck. As proof, CollegeHumor has uploaded the full, original footage, making it available at the all too accurately named Undramatic Chipmunk.
You may reboot your attitudinal facade now
Footnotes
- Make that much, much, much longer footage ~back~