The Quintessential Chocolate For The Quintessential Chocolate Vodka
Heck of a Guy 2007 Christmas Season Update #4:
It’s The Most Chocolodka Time Of The Year - Internationally
A few days ago, an email arrived with an inquiry that read, in part:
After I emailed the answer, it occurred to me that if ever there was a time that called for
that time is this Christmas season.
Consequently, I am, in the spirit of the holidays, sharing my response to this vital issue which involves international economics, marketing tactics, government regulations, nationalism, and individual personality traits,
But first, …
The Original Chocolodka Revelation
For those unfamiliar with the concept, Chocolodka is DrHGuy’s favorite version of Chocolate Vodka.
A set of incredibly witty and erudite instructions and the recipe for this magical concoction, lushly illustrated with photos of Lord of Leisure, Hippie With Tiara, and Lady Lawanda performing the tasks involved in producing Chocolodka, was published in April 2006 at The Quintessential Chocolate Vodka - Chocolodka.
The Quintessential Chocolate Vodka - Chocolodka
That post introduced Chocolodka thusly,
Gentle reader, would your life be enhanced by an elixir that
- Is intoxicatingly delicious and deliciously intoxicating
- Makes any event an occasion and any occasion an event – occasionally or eventually
- Convinces your sweetie that making snow angels naked while you videotape the event would qualify as madcap merriment?
- Persuades you and perhaps even other (also elixir-ingesting) individuals that you are a fuuuuuuunnnnn sort of guy or gal?
- Infuses your empty, barren life with meaning, love, and joy?
Well, Bunkie, if you’ll settle for four out of five, then I’ve got just the thing for you, a little something I like to think of as
Now, on to today’s question.
The Cadbury’s Caramel Query
Dear Correspondent,
It’s a pleasure to hear from another seeker of the ultimate life-affirming force or, as I like to call it, Chocolodka, especially when said seeker has done her homework.
The answer to your query re the use of Cadbury’s Caramello in place of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk with Caramel is that most frustrating of responses, “it depends.” Here is what my otherwise lucid father persisted in calling - ahem - the dealio.
A bit of historical background is useful. I found the original list of ingredients approximately 142 internet years ago (4 or 5 years ago in non-cyber notation) when I was searching for certain British goods to purchase as gifts for a woman I was then dating (who has since found her bliss in another relationship) who grew up habituated to certain products produced and sold only in the UK. In the process, I stumbled across a forum for English expatriates in which a Brit offered her recipe for chocolate vodka. She was, I still recall, adamant about the use of what she called “Cadbury’s Caramel,” which I have since learned had undergone a marketing-driven name change to “Cadbury’s Dairy Milk with Caramel” shortly before I discovered the recipe that included that selfsame candy bar.
Not being the patient sort, I was interested in the possibility of a workable alternative chocolate-caramel source that didn’t necessitate a shipping delay of 2-3 weeks, at least in those days. In the course of making inquiries about this issue, I discovered that in 1998 Hershey’s had bought out Cadbury’s US operation and that, subsequent to that date, the “Cadbury’s Caramello” known to citizens of the USA has been manufactured by Hershey’s. Some candy aficionados maintain that it is is subtly different than its British counterpart. Further, the US FDA and its English equivalent enforce different standards pertinent to the production of such foodstuffs.
To further complicate matters, the equivalent candy in Canada is the “Caramilk,” which is produced by Cadbury Adams and in Australia, Cadbury still produces “Cadbury’s Caramello.”
In any case, I produced my first batch of Chocolodka using Cadbury’s Dairy Milk with Caramel. The reactions of those who sampled the results of that first effort were so overwhelmingly positive that I have never experimented with other ingredients. On paper, I’m sure the Hershey’s Caramello and the Cadbury’s Dairy Milk with Caramel.are so similar that the results of mixing either with cheap vodka and heating that mix until the candy is melted and blended with the liquor should produce almost identical tasting concoctions. And, as I point out in my post, “the basic constituents are nature’s two most perfect foods, vodka and chocolate,” so how wrong can one go?
On the other hand, I think the modest difficulty in obtaining the Cadbury’s Dairy Milk with Caramel. adds to the mystique of the product and, in turn, the appreciativeness of the recipients. The Anglophilia connotations seem a plus as well.
So, as for me and my clan, we will stand forthright and steadfast behind the long and hallowed traditonal, original, genuine Chocolodka recipe, but I would equally forthrightly and steadfastly refuse a blind tasting comparing my elixir with a Caramello-based version because I suspect that whatever differences might exist would dissolve after knocking back a couple of samples.
My bottom line suggestion is that you try it both ways and choose your favorite. What’s the worse case scenario - you end up with two bottles of Chocolodka, one of which you like a bit better than the other. Poor baby.
Before closing, I should point out the Chocolodka is a dense drink that typically has chunk-lets of chocolate-caramel floating in it. Most Chocolate Vodkas I’ve tasted have contained much lower concentrations of chocolate.
Good luck - and do let me know what you discover in your explorations.
Your Chocolodka Chum,
DrHGuy
Footnotes
- From Luke 2:14 (King James Version): “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” ~back~
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The Adornment and Usage Of Pillboxes and Medication Organizers
Now At AlignMap:1 Introduction To Pillboxes and Medication Organizers
Why Publish A Post On Medication Organizers?
Pillboxes or, more precisely, pill organizers are certainly the most common device recommended (especially to the elderly) and used to improve adherence to a prescribed medication regimen. Yet, until recently, there was little formal research that focused on the effectiveness of this methodology.
It now seems that medication organizers do have, as was assumed, a potential for significantly enhancing medication adherence.
It also appears that medication organizers have their own set of characteristic problems that can not only decrease their effectiveness but even make health problems worse or cause treatment failures or additional disorders.
This is hardly unexpected - most useful tools, from hammers to jet engines to computer chips to international monetary exchange rate systems, carry risks as well as benefits. More surprising is that clinicians and pharmacists have typically done little beyond suggest to clients that they use employ these gadgets. Most patients, other than those using exotic equipment complex enough to require an operating manual, are left, literally, to their own devices.
That’s probably a mistake.
How To Use Medication Organizes: An AlignMap Tutorial
In upcoming AlignMap posts, I’ll be reviewing the sparse literature about simple, non-electronic medication organizers and adding my own observations to formulate concrete protocols to enhance their efficacy and, perhaps more importantly, protect against systemic errors in their use.
If I do my job correctly, this should be immediately useful to anyone who already uses these devices.
Today’s AlignMap blot entry is simply an introduction to medicine organizers, featuring David Letterman, the Bang & Olufsen updated version of the plastic pill organizer, the electronic progeny of the pillbox, and a reference to a clinical study showing the benefits of using a pill organizer in the treatment of AIDS.
That post also has more graphics of the sort seen at the top and bottom of this Heck of a Guy entry, displaying a small fraction of the universe of pillboxes and medication organizers - the practical, the decorative, the emblematic, the luxurious, the cheap, and much, much more. In these two collections of images on this posts are items labeled “Vatican pillboxes,” medication organizers for pets, sterling silver pillboxes, bejeweled and electronic dispensers, pillboxes bedecked with Christian and Jewish symbols, and round, curved, and square models. There are even more variations at AlignMap. Also included are various medication-associated accoutrements, such as pill splitters, reminders, medication logs, etc.) that are often marketed as part of a set, the centerpiece of which is the medication organizer.
And Just In Time For Christmas
Pillboxes and medication organizers make wonderful gifts as well as festive ornaments this 2007 holiday season - or as we like to say at the Heck of a Guy Mercantile & Schwag Emporium, exclusive distributer of the AlignMap Patient Compliance Commemorative Plaques, Make this a Christmas of Compliance - Give the gift of medication adherence.
The AlignMap Post
This AlignMap post can be found at
Footnotes
- AlignMap is my professional web site and blog that focus on patient compliance, also known as adherence to treatment ~back~
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There Is A Lesson In This Pole Dancing Lesson
The Category Should Be “How-NOT-To”
The fortuity just keeps on coming. Two days ago, in The Perspective Of and On The Best Pole Dancing Ad In Halifax, I wrote about an advertisement for pole dancing lessons. Today, I found - and I swear I wasn’t looking for it - a video about a pole dancing lesson.
My hunch, however, that that this is not how they do it in Halifax.
[That "5min" on the screen refers to the site, 5min.com; the video is less than a minute long.]
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All Saints Day Eve
AKA - AKA Halloween
AKA Only One Shopping Day Left Until DrHGuy’s Birthday
Some readers may benefit from a project to bind the anxiety generated by the anticipation of tomorrow’s double holiday: All Saints Day and DrHGuy’s birthday.1 If you’ve already purchased and wrapped your birthday gift, by all means, feel free to indulge in the traditional seasonal sport of pumpkin carving. To facilitate this effort, DrHGuy has provided three pertinent web sites.
Halloween Help: Pumpkin Carving
For the record, I remain a stalwart fan of Extreme Pumpkins and their gung-ho power tool and pyrotechnics approach.2
If, however, you’re the sort who favors a lighter touch, you might try How to Carve a Fancy Pumpkin, a tutorial on creating more subtle effects by only partially removing pumpkin shell so that those areas of the finished pumpkin glow from the light (see example on the right).
But the hip and trendy, too cool for school pumpkins this year are sporting non-traditional designs from the house of PumpkinGlow.com. Check “Patterns” for - well, patterns in PDF format for downloading. Some of the categories are shown below.
There are other categories, such as cartoons and sports, as well.
For an example of the products resulting from these designs, check out The Carpenters all aglow:
All Saints Day
Again, DrHGuy finds it necessary to remind those overeager disciples out there that the official pre-Rapture party line is that it’s only a coincidence that both All Saints Day and DrHGuy’s birthday fall on November 1st (which is, by the way, TOMORROW). And please don’t wink, roll your eyes up, or elbow folks, muttering “eh, eh” as though you were auditioning for a Monty Python skit, when you say that it’s only a coincidence.
Credit Due Department:
The Red Sox Pumpkin photo is by thebristolkid, who is also responsible for the carving.
PumpkinGlow.com was revealed unto DrHGuy by LifeHacker.
Footnotes
- One who speaks of himself or herself in the third person is, it turns out, an illeist, according to the inevitably reliable Anu Garg at words-at-wordsmith.org. DrHGuy is fascinated by this discovery and hopes you are as well. ~back~
- For details, see the 2006 Heck of a Guy Halloween post, Pumpkins, Pictures, and Presents: Preparations For Halloween ~back~
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Cyber-Bookmarks From DrHGuy: 26 October 2007
A sporadically promulgated annotated listing of arguably worthwhile, recently published online reading, new or revised websites of potential utility or ostensible interest, and other internet-accessible experiences that, were it not for the casually collected, cavalierly collated, & capriciously collocated components comprising these posts, could easily be overlooked - which would be, in some cases, a shame
Suspended Elegance
Walking On Air: The Joy Of Footbridges By Witold Rybczynski
Slate. 24 October 2007
I’ve long had a thing for footbridges. Indeed, one of the few disappointments in the process of designing Heck of a House was that, regardless of how the house was sited, I couldn’t rationalize a footbridge or two. Consequently, it’s no surprise that I’m taken with Rybczynski’s footbridge slide show with annotations featured in Slate this week. The specimens shown range from spectacularly functional to wonderfully aesthetic with some combining the best of both qualities.
This display of fascinating footbridges can be found at Walking On Air: The Joy Of Footbridges
In The Nude For Travel
Top Places In World To ‘Let It All Hang Out’ By Amy Rosen
CanWest News Service. October 2007.
I suppose I’ve had a thing for naked even before I had a thing for footbridges. In any case, when I ran across this article about the best buff beaches and boats, it seemed worth exploring, but I was convinced to include it in this edition of Cyber-Bookmarks after I read the intriguing, albeit ambiguous declaration that
$400 million of the U.S. economy
OK, I admit I am also enthralled by the vision conjured up with the discovery of “the 12-hectare Mira Vista Resort, a nudist dude ranch in Tucson, Ariz., which is done up like an 1800s Wild West town.” Immediately the picture of DS wearing only spurs comes to mind.
Several resorts in the US are listed as well as a retreat in the Mexican Caribbean, a French coastal resort in a town of 40,000 naturists, and a luxurious nude cruise marketed under the name - get ready - Hidden Jewels of the Caribbean.
This piece on travel au naturel is available at Top Places In World To ‘Let It All Hang Out’
Putting The Fix On The Pix
Altered Graphics From The Heck of a Guy Files
[Click on graphic to view larger image]
Top 15 Manipulated Photographs By jfrater
TheListUniverse.com. 19 October 2007
DrHGuy has, as indicated by the above collage of samples taken from Heck of a Guy Blog, occasionally fine-tuned a photo to remove a distraction or highlight some portion of the image. These amateur-level antics, however, are not in the same league as the big-time manipulations on exhibit in this listing. I’ve included one sample below to give readers a taste of the offering.
This impressive and worrisome photo essay can be viewed at Top 15 Manipulated Photographs
Once You Go Mac You Can Still Go Back To PC
The Complete Guide to Mac/Windows Interoperability By Gina Trapani
Lifehacker.com. 19 October 2007
If, like DrHGuy, you’ve got a crush on a Mac and are considering leaving your PC but can’t afford to lose those PC programs in the property settlement and don’t want to worry about the incompatibility problems between the blended families, now you can set up housekeeping with your beloved Mac and still enjoy a friends with benefits arrangement with your old PC.
Today, Mac OS and Windows can work together on the same network, share files, and use many of the same gizmos. Lifehacker offers a nifty primer about what does and doesn’t work when one dallies spontaneously with Mac and PC.
This timely info can be found at The Complete Guide to Mac/Windows Interoperability
Welcome To Babel: Translating Sacred Poetry
Psalm Springs - How I Translated The Bible’s Most Poetic Book By Robert Alter
Slate. 26 September 2007
Translation of poetry is a puzzle so complex, multifaceted, and difficult that it seems to most of us as mystical as advanced physics calculations. In the case of the Psalms, of course, one adds to that task the burden of dealing with one of the world’s major religious texts that is also replete with historical import. Oh, and also add the fact that the Psalms were composed by “anonymous poets over a period of more than five centuries,” and one quickly realizes that this is not a job for the timid. Yet, the process involved in translating poetry offers a unique insight into the workings of literary thought. I’ve re-read this essay about the translation of these Hebrew poems into contemporary English a half -dozen times in the month since it was published and found it rewarding each time.
This excerpt is typical:
This article, as well as a link to a sound file of the author reading from his translations, is online at Psalm Springs - How I Translated The Bible’s Most Poetic Book
Mr (and Ms) Fix-it
25 Skills Every Man Should Know: Your Ultimate DIY Guide
Popular Mechanics. October 2007
This is in every way a prototypal Popular Mechanics article, full of useful information presented with a moral imperative of self-reliance. Or, as the introduction puts it,
My only criticism is the gender-indicative title. I find none of the tasks listed, from Fillet a Fish to Perform CPR to Protect Your Computer to Patch A Radiator Hose, to be testosterone-specific.
Come to think of it, with the possible exceptions of the items dealing with computers, I suspect1 Mary from View From A Farm House Window can perform each of these items better than I can.
Regardless, this how-to guide can be found at 25 Skills Every Man Should Know: Your Ultimate DIY Guide
Footnotes
- ”Suspect” in this sentence is a face-saving word for “am absolutely certain,” ~back~
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How To Create An Official Seal - Part 2: Credentials
This is the continuation of How To Create An Official Seal - Part 1: The Mechanics and, like its predecessor, is part of the grand scheme to first solve the puzzle of the McHenry County, Illinois County Seal redesign and then revolutionize the art and science of County Seal design.1
Contemporary Sigillography - The State of the Art
Initially, I envisioned this post as a tutorial on the aesthetics and ordinances governing county seals.
Thank goodness, I came to my senses.
I realized that training isn’t the barrier to becoming a competent designer of seals - because there is precious little to learn. Here’s the deal.
As far as Google and I can determine, designing governmental seals in general and county seals in particular, at least in these modern times, is an ambiguously defined, erratically regulated process that predictably results in products, the artistic quality of which may rise, on rare occasions, to the dizzy heights of mediocrity and the significance of which seldom evokes notice, let alone a response from viewers unless a crisis of symbolism is declared (e.g., a religious symbol is found breaching the sacred legal philosophical barrier between church and state).
There isn’t even a name to reference the field. While the word I’ve shoehorned into the heading, sigillography, is sufficiently bloated, difficult, and enigmatic to serve this function and, in fact, is defined as the study of seals, its use in the context of contemporary county seals is atypical. Sigillography almost invariably focuses on descriptive elements of historical seals, such as the lead seal from the Byzantine era pictured below, and is analogous to the study of heraldry. Still, it appears to be the best approximation available.
That I did not discover a list of principles governing the graphic design of seals does not mean, of course, that they have not been formulated or published, but, if they have, they are not widely known, acknowledged, or followed. The final designs of county seals that have originated or, more frequently, been revised in the last 25 years have resulted from assignments to graphic artists, a competition between citizens, students, or professional artists, the work of a committee of county workers, or, most often by my informal count, the efforts of one individual, usually a county official, who promoted his or her creation among those empowered to render a decision. 2
Without a recognized corpus of accumulated seal design knowledge, the key issue is not undergoing training but obtaining credentials. And, until McHenry Community College sees the wisdom of becoming this country’s first accredited institution of learning to offer a curriculum leading to an Associates Degree in Technology Of Governmental Seal Design, the burden of maintaining the quality of this aspect of civilization falls, as do so many others, to the Heck of a Guy blog.
DrHGuy’s County Seal Design Academy: Certification Process
To qualify for Certification In County Seal Design candidates must meet the following criteria:
- Successfully complete this post
- Acknowledge the Heck of a Guy blog as the final authority on all matters relating to the design of county seals and the primary source of the universal life force
- Vow to use the power of County Seal Design only for good
Section I: Artistic Skills
In this exercise, you will be designing a county seal for your own county, McHenry County, or any other county, real or fictional.3. The only tool needed is the Official Seal Generator. Follow instructions at that site.4 Once you have completed your seal, compare your creation with these samples from nearby counties (because the McHenry County seal has been identified as “boring,” it is not included as a point of comparison).5
To meet the Artistic Skills requirement, you must be able to answer “Yes” to this question:
Is your seal at least twice as good as any of these?6
I thought so. Congratulations.
Section II: Knowledge of Pertinent Legal Principles
What’s Wrong With This Picture?
Were the following an actual seal, it would doubtlessly precipitate a lawsuit. Which image(s) would be the crux of the conflict?
That’s right. That seal has one of those crosses (see below) that have repeatedly been ruled unconstitutional.
If you missed this question, review the Los Angeles County case near the end of How To Create An Official Seal - Part 1: The Mechanics. Then take this part of the quiz again. Take care - only one retake is allowed.
Section III: Survey Of County Seal Trends
While most county seals are round, there are exceptions.
Using the shape of the county as the centerpiece of the seal is popular. Thanks to this trend, one learns that few counties have intrinsically interesting shapes.
Others just seem to be trying too hard to do too much in one seal.
Several counties, especially in Florida, appear unafraid of bright colors and stylized images one rarely sees in the Midwest. Coats of arms are popular, especially in Maryland. The stylized sun is also a frequent image.
And there are those with what the PR folks might call image problems. From left to right: Brunswick County is undoubtedly proud of its fishing heritage, but the term “dead fish” comes to readily to mind on viewing the seal. Does anyone else think Greene County’s seal moonlights as a poker chip? Butte County’s seal is inscribed “First Atomic Power,” but I’m thinking “First 45 RPM record.” That can’t really be a Wurlitzer jukebox on the Chatham County Seal, can it? Calvert County - where it’s always Thanksgiving. Goucester County symbol is, I think, a bee hive, which is a bit drab for my taste, but the real problem is that it’s ambiguous enough to serve as a Rorschach Test with predictably unfortunate results.
And that brings us to the …
Section IV: Interpretation Of Seals
In searching for the DeKalb County, Illinois seal, I also found the county seal of DeKalb County, Georgia, which will serve as the subject of your examination. 
Choose any one of the following Essay Questions:
Essay Question #1: Convincingly describe and discuss the activity the two figures on the seal are pursuing.
Essay Question #2: Explain why a county in Georgia would depict a behavior on their official seal that most of us would have assumed was illegal in that state.
Essay Question #3: Now really, couldn’t you design a better seal than that?
Grading Key: Are you happy with your answer? Me too. Good work.
Certificate of Certification
Don’t look at me. Having completed the course of study at DrHGuy’s County Seal Design Academy, you are a hot-shot, fully endorsed County Seal Designer. So, produce a seal or two, print up a document with Edwardian script and the usual scholastic boilerplate, sign my name to the thing, and you’re done.
Coming Attractions: The unveiling of my McHenry County Seal Solution is in the offing. Prepare yourselves.
Footnotes
- The McHenry County Seal redesign has inspired previous Heck of a Guy posts, including the following:
-
Sealed With A Dis
The Great Seal Of McHenry County Not Great Enough
McHenry County Eye Candy
McHenry County Seal Makeover Makes The News
Baseball, Hot Dogs, Community College, and County Seals
The Passive-Aggressive State of Illinois Seal
How To Create An Official Seal - Part 1: The Mechanics~back~
- A local example of a county official being the promoter and designer of a redesigned county seal is provided by this account of the 1981 DeKalb County Seal redesign:
In 1981, then DeKalb County Sheriff Wilbur B. Scott, proposed a design for a new ” County Seal” which depicted the wealth of DeKalb County’s resources. The County Board subsequently adopted this seal as the official County seal.
The center of the seal is divided into four sections with two outer rings surrounding the seal’s center. The upper left quarter represents Agriculture and the Rural Community displaying the many contributions to the Nation’s agricultural needs. In the foreground of this quadrant stands a stalk of corn, representing the County’s leading crop and a noted hybrid developed locally. Also depicted is a heifer steer representing it’s beef industry. An old wind mill and red barn of the past can be seen in the background along with the familiar blue silo, manufactured by one of the local industries. This section is a tribute to DeKalb County farmers.The upper right quarter symbolizes DeKalb County’s Industries and Communities. The County’s factories, business community, and employment opportunities are shown along with a train and a large truck representing the large number of products distributed throughout the world. The communities’ skyline includes the DeKalb County High Rise Apartments (home of many senior citizens) and several crosses representing the many diversified religious faiths. This section is a tribute to “Life in DeKalb County.”
The lower left quarter is symbolic of DeKalb County’s commitment to the Nation’s Future through Education. The foreground illustrates a scene from the past (the little red country schoolhouse) and on the horizon, Altgeld Hall the “Castle” of Northern Illinois University. A diploma and graduation cap represents the thousands of students educated and able to make the decisions of the future. This section is dedicated to the educators, senior citizens, and the youth.
The lower right quarter represents the numerous recreational facilities in DeKalb County that are available to it’s residents and visitors. The County Forest Preserves, Community and State Parks offer swimming, boating, fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, picnicking, band concerts and magnificent fireworks displays, not to mention a large variety of competitive sports. Depicted in this scene is a lone fisherman doing battle with the famed “fighting tiger muskie” of Lake Shabbona, the largest fish in the County. At the bank of the lake a tree line is shown, portraying one of the County’s numerous Forest Preserves. This section is dedicated to the value of the community’s natural resources and quality of life.
At the bottom portion of the seal is a banner displaying the year 1837, which was the year DeKalb County was founded. (March 4, 1837).
In the narrow circle surrounding the four quarters are the words: Service, Pride, Integrity, and Courage. These words are reflective of the commitment employees strive for in their service to the citizens of DeKalb County, IL. ~back~
- Those with an interest in American novels and sexual perversity, for example, might create a seal for Faulkner’s Yoknapatawpha County (see map below).
Just keep it clean. ~back~
- The Seal Generator is one wonderful gizmo and there are, as you have discovered, lots of fonts, borders, and options from which to choose. My only hemi-hack is for customization of the images in the center of the seal. Just select “no emblem” from the choices offered at Step 3, “Choose Emblem Options.” That creates a seal with a white center. In your favorite graphics program (or PowerPoint), crop and resize the image you want and simply paste it in the center of the seal. This works reasonably well with a simple image on a white background. ~back~
- As an advanced version of this exercise, I created a McHenry County Seal using a a random specimen from the DrHGuy Vault of Forbidden Graphics.
It may be a tad unconventional, but it is easily 12 times more interesting and memorable than any of the scintillating sextet of seals used for comparison. ~back~ - This is the appropriate question if the seal created for this exercise is the first you have ever created. If you have previously designed one or more seals, your seal must be at least six times better than any of those displayed. ~back~