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A Musical Mystery - Elvis Wonders About You

Filed under: Bagatelles, Music | By DrHGuy | May 6, 2008 at 6:40 pm


A Slip, A Clue, or a Plea for Help From Elvis Presley?


Elvis Presley, 1970


Listen to this 30 second clip from the opening of “The Wonder of You,” performed by Elvis Presley on closing night (23 Feb 1970) of his show at the International Hotel Las Vegas. Pay special attention to the lyrics following, “You give me … .”


Elvis Presley - The Wonder Of You
International Hotel Las Vegas Closing Night: 23 Feb 1970


My contention is that Elvis is clearly singing, “You give me hope and constipation.”

This phrase takes on a certain poignancy with the realization that on August 16, 1977, Presley was found on the floor of his bathroom, after apparently having been on the toilet, and was officially pronounced dead at Baptist Memorial Hospital.1

So, was this just a careless error - or was it the consequence of Elvis so intently wondering about why he was suddenly constipated - a crucial element in a plot by person or persons unknown to kill him - that this concern slipped into the lyrics?

Or, was it a clue Presley consciously left in hopes of pointing to his murderer?

While an anti-Elvis conspiracy theory may sound unlikely, is there any better explanation for Elvis meeting Nixon later that same year to ask for a Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs badge and an appointment as a “Federal Agent at Large.”2


Elvis Presley Meets With President Nixon, 1970


Footnotes


  1. See Wikipedia ~back~
  2. See Wikipedia ~back~

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United Airlines Owes Me 4 O’Hare Hours (Equal to 16 regular hours) and Readers 1 Post

Filed under: Bagatelles | By DrHGuy | May 2, 2008 at 11:57 pm

Today’s lack of a post is brought to you by the unexplained and perhaps inexplicable delays and flight cancellations of United Airlines, complemented by their inaccurate and misleading passenger alerts. impenetrable automated telephone answering systems that prohibit live personal contact, and customer relations that appear based on the tactics used to herd cattle through slaughterhouses.

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Don’t Give Up

Filed under: Bagatelles, HOAG Site, Leonard Cohen, Music | By DrHGuy | April 5, 2008 at 5:53 pm

From Leonard Cohen via Neo-Neocon to Billy Joel to Elton John resonating with Lady Lawanda to Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush

From left to right, Top: Leonard Cohen,1 Neo-Neocon,2 Billy Joel3
Bottom: Elton John,4 Lady Lawanda,5 Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush6


In The Beginning

Today’s music video selection evolved through a convoluted sequence of events this morning that began with …


Leonard Cohen
I routinely monitor blog references to Leonard Cohen.7 When an intriguing snippet showed up on one of the automated reports this morning, I followed it to …



Neo-Neocon
The April 4th post, What do Billy Joel and Leonard Cohen (and Billy Joel and Salman Rushdie) have in common? made the case that Cohen’s “Closing Time” is connected to Billy Joel’s “Piano Man:”

They’re both set in bars, of course. But the similarities don’t stop there. They’re both about the attempt to forget troubles in a throng of revelers, the pursuit of fun that can partake of desperation. And they’re both about the desire to forget loneliness, and the way it can sometimes pursue a person even in a crowd. Maybe especially in a crowd.
The difference is in the tone. Cohen emphasizes the dark within which a bit of light shines, while Joel sees light with overtones of dark. My guess is that Cohen was influenced in subtle ways by the earlier Joel piece when he made his own video. It’s almost a tribute to the first one, a deeply noir version of an already-slightly-noir vision. [Italics mine]

Given that, except for his first years as a professional when he worked and lived with the musicians at the core of folk singing, Leonard Cohen appears to have listened to only a small number of select contemporaneous singers8 and given the paucity of specific references to popular music in his work,9 the notion that “Closing Time,” a Leonard Cohen song that came out in 1992 was influenced by Billy Joel’s “Piano Man,” released 20 years earlier, seemed unlikely; that the video of “Piano Man” had a an impact on Cohen’s efforts seemed even more improbable.

On the other hand, I’ve too often been ambushed by my own logic, only to witness the presumably impossible occur, to cavalierly offer up absolute declarations without at least doing a cursory round of research about links between Leonard Cohen and …


Billy Joel

In the process of checking out Billy Joel, I came across a New York Times article, Elton John and Billy Joel, Talking About Songs by Anthony Decurtis (New York Times, Mar 10, 2002). The immediately relevant points were Billy Joel’s own characterization of “Piano Man,”

People who just know Billy Joel from top-40 hit singles may not like me, and I can’t say I necessarily blame them. I don’t think that really represents the sum and substance of my work. I think a lot of my hits were almost novelty songs. ”Uptown Girl” was a joke. So was ”Tell Her About It” — that was my take on the Supremes. Even ”Piano Man” was a wacko song. I mean, people thought it was Harry Chapin. But as long as it was a hit, that was all the record company cared about.

… and his response to the question, “Do you think you’ll write pop songs again?”

I don’t know what it will take. I always wanted to be a better lyric writer than I was. I wanted to write surrealistic lyrics like David Bowie or abstract lyrics like Dylan or philosophical lyrics like Leonard Cohen. Lyrics that weren’t so bloody literal. It’s interesting, because it will be going on 10 years since I’ve actually written a song.

While that was interesting and, in a generic way, supportive of my position, that same article also included this comment from …


Elton John

I mean, when I was a drug addict and at the depth of my despair, I used to listen to ”Don’t Give Up” by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush. That was my life in words and music. That’s what songs do to people. When I was at my worst, I still clung to music.

My focus then shifted to …



Lady Lawanda

Lady Lawanda, as some readers know, has been facing severe health problems that have been in exacerbation lately. And, while she belongs to the stiff upper lip, never say surrender school, “Don’t Give Up” certainly seemed a worthwhile theme for the weekend.

So, it was off to YouTube to find …



Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush

OK, “Don’t Give Up,” which came out in 1986, is hardly perfect. For one things, the lyrics describe the woes of a man who doesn’t fit the economic system as it existed in England during that period and the support offered by the woman in his life. It’s also a tad mawkish, it smacks a bit too much of a Stand By Your Man sentiment, and, as you’ll see, the video10 features one looooong and eventually awkward hug.

Still, Elton John saw something special in it - as do Lady Lawanda and I.

Maybe you will as well.

Don’t Give Up - Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush (Version 1)



Footnotes


  1. From Field Commander Cohen album ~back~
  2. From Neo-Neocon blog ~back~
  3. From Greatest Hits album ~back~
  4. From concert ~back~
  5. From Chocolodka post ~back~
  6. From Don’t Give Up video ~back~
  7. I also follow references to Anjani, Patient Compliance, and perhaps a half-dozen other topics ~back~
  8. See discussion at Leonard Cohen listens to? ~back~
  9. Among the few exceptions are, for example, Joni Mitchell and Bob Dylan ~back~
  10. There were originally two videos produced. The second featured the faces of Gabriel and Bush superimposed over the scenes of a town and its people struck by impoverishment ~back~

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Changes In CPR Guidelines Impact Comedy World

Filed under: Bagatelles | By DrHGuy | April 3, 2008 at 10:42 am


The So-called Improvement

Much has been made of the new, simplified American Heart Association CPR protocols. The Associated Press story 1 outlines the shift in policy:

The American Heart Association released new guidelines for a first aid technique it calls ‘hands-only CPR.’ Rather than the multiple steps involved in traditional CPR, which includes mouth-to-mouth breathing, the ‘hands only’ CPR method distills CPR down to just two steps. First, call 911 or send someone to call 911. Second, begin providing high-quality chest compressions by pushing hard and fast in the center of the chest with minimal interruptions.

The newspaper story goes on to note that the changes were predicated on

three studies last year [that] showed hands-only was as good as traditional CPR” and “anonymous surveys [that] show that people are reluctant to do mouth-to-mouth.

The idea is that some folks who would hesitate to lock lips with someone who could benefit from CPR will be willing to perform that potentially life-saving procedure if the chest compression component alone were sufficient.

Well, OK. I’m not one to begrudge saving a life or two.

But, did anyone weigh that potential benefit (putting aside for the moment the very real possibility that the demise of certain loathsome sorts could be a net gain for humanity) against the loss of what has become a reliable plot device in sitcoms and topic for stand up comedians?


The Golden Era Of Funny Intrapsychic Conflict

How many times have you enjoyed a scene like this one described in this review of Second City, the improvisational comedy ensemble:2

At another point the troupe picked a female victim from the crowd for participation. She was then put into the enviable position of “Annie” the CPR doll. Predictably she became the victim of attempted mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. “Digger,” the eager character performing the mouth-to-mouth gave it a gallant effort, but didn’t get far with her.

Merriment and mirth obviously ensued.

Of course, a consummate enactment of this situation was embedded in the “Pool Guy” episode of Seinfeld:3

[After a series of contretemps between Jerry and Ramon, "The Pool Guy," Jerry pulls Ramon into the pool.] Camera fade to Ramon, lying unconscious on the tile pool deck. Newman and Jerry are kneeling over him.

JERRY: I think he’s gonna need, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

NEWMAN: Mouth-to-mouth?

JERRY: Yeah.

NEWMAN: Huh.

JERRY: Well? Go ahead.

NEWMAN: You go.

JERRY: You knocked him out.

NEWMAN: Yeah, but you pulled him in.

JERRY: Come on Newman. Do it.

NEWMAN: Nah.

JERRY: He might die.

NEWMAN: Yeah. Maybe.


If the forced choice between an individual’s morality on one hand and his animosity toward the victim, personal fears of contamination, and homosexual panic on the other isn’t the epitome of funny, well, I don’t know what is.

Do we really want to be resuscitated to return to a life without this kind of joyfulness?


And The Other Guys


CPR Mannequin



If nothing else, doesn’t the AHA come off as a bit uppity, taking this action unilaterally? Shouldn’t there have been meetings, consultations with interested parties, a congressional hearing or two, … ? Did they even both to check with the people who earn their living manufacturing CPR mannequins? What happened to the ideas that “all stakeholders should be heard from” and “we’re all in this together?”

Oh, it’s not so bad for those of us over 30. We’ve had a lifetime of CPR trainings, instructions on laminated cards, and performances on stage and screen to imbue us with sufficient residual guilt, conflicting drives, and self-mortification for many more years of breaking into uproarious laughter whenever we see the terrified grimace on the face of a character who encounters the dilemma of performing a life-saving act vs being teased by his buddies for seizing the opportunity to place his lips against the lips of another man.

But, how does one explain that to the grandkids? What will today’s tykes, growing up without the mouth-to-mouth imperative make of the reruns of the “Pool Guy” episode of Seinfeld?


After all, it’s all about the kids.



Footnotes


  1. OK to skip mouth-to-mouth and do ‘hands-only’ CPR by Stephanie Nano, Portsmouth Herald News, April 03, 2008 ~back~
  2. Second City: car alarm quality comedy by David Cole, The Easterner. 2/20/01 ~back~
  3. Seinfeld. Season 7; Episode 8. First aired on November 16, 1995. ~back~

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The Cult Of Leonard Cohen Heresy, Part II

Filed under: Bagatelles, Leonard Cohen | By DrHGuy | March 28, 2008 at 3:07 pm

From the email, it appears that yesterday’s post, Oh My Cohen! They’re Calling Us A Cult, was insufficient to dissuade some from the vile and sinful belief that there is a Cult of Leonard Cohen.

Very well - Behold, ye doubters, …

This Is A Sign That There Is No Cult Of Leonard Cohen


No Cult Of Leonard Cohen Sign


Forgiveness

Those of you who fell prey to the Cult of Leonard Cohen Heresy but now repent of that iniquity and long for forgiveness are hereby instructed to say 5 Hail Anjani’s and 2 I’m Your Man’s.

Then, go in peace and sin no more.


The Final Judgment

Here at the monastery, we are fervently praying that there will be no necessity for

Cult Of Leonard Cohen Heresy, Part III:
Nobody Expects The Canadian Inquisition


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Crisis Averted At Last Moment - Republic Saved

Filed under: Bagatelles, Events | By DrHGuy | March 23, 2008 at 3:35 pm


Last Minute


The Secret Threat Now Revealed

In a classic display of brinkmanship, the threat of a seemingly imminent catastrophic rift between the hitherto mutually adoring - and perhaps not incidentally, adorable - Very Very Good Girl (VVGG) and DrHGuy was thwarted just before the covert conflict was to surface as a post on the Heck of a Guy Blog, scandalizing the multitudes who have long viewed VVGG as an avatar of civility, grace, and refinement, a lodestar of all that is decent and, the redundancy notwithstanding, good about this otherwise burdensome mortal coil we call life.

As returning readers may recall from the Heck of a Guy post, It’s (Still) The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, DrHGuy’s Christmas gifts were, in mid-February, en route to certain blest individuals, including Very Very Good Girl.

Now, as one would expect, Very Very, to use her familiar appellation, has historically been extraordinarily prompt in responding to gifts with Thank You notes, typically lauding the generosity of the giver as well as her appreciation of and need for a complete set of monogrammed lard rendering implements exactly like those she received.

Yet, in this instance, days, then weeks passed with no card, not even a Hallmark-published postal platitude-fest, bearing VVGG’s carefully inscribed signature. DrHGuy’s unease turned to despair when he received a note of gratitude for the same set of Christmas gifts from the father of Very Very Good Girl, the lion hearted Duke of Derm,1 who is, notwithstanding his metaphorically mixed leonine heart of gold and his genuine appreciation of the generosity of friends and family, notoriously dilatory in issuing written Thank You’s - with still no word from the erstwhile prodigy of politesse.


The Ultimate Penalty

Finally, DrHGuy had no choice but to begin the formal due process required to remove one or even both of the “Very’s” long ago earned by and rewarded to VVGG.


Spanish Inquisition Court


DrHGuy assuredly took no personal joy in this turn of events. To the contrary, no one has, through the years, been a more enthusiastic supporter and proponent of Very Very Good Girl. But, the integrity of the Heck of a Guy Very Very Good Girl Global Group Grading Gage & Guidelines demands it. If the populace of this inconstant world ravaged by invisible, nefarious forces cannot trust the HGVVVGGGGGGG, what would replace it as a spiritual and moral touchstone? Anomie would inevitably become universal; governments would be powerless to protect their citizens as chaos and anarchy spread, and families would be rent asunder as legal principles and social mores dissolved. Murder and mayhem would follow with the oppressive rule of fascist leaders backed by force of arms the only alternative.

No, DrHGuy’s own affection for Very Very Good Girl could not take precedence over the survival of mankind - although it turns out to be a surprisingly close call.

While “De-Verycation,” the original name for the process, was adjudged too connotative of condemnatory hopelessness and has subsequently been replaced by the linguistically neutral and politically acceptable term, “Normalization,” this step is clearly no small matter. Consider the consequences of a restaurant losing a star or two in the Michelin Guide described in Chefs fork out to keep their stars shining by Adam Sage in The Times (June 4, 2007):

When the guide demoted Le Violon d’Ingres, a Parisian restaurant, from two stars to one in 2001, its annual turnover fell by 40 per cent, according to Christian Constant, the chef. “In this job, a catastrophe can hit you very quickly,” he said. In 2003, chef Bernard Loiseau committed suicide when it was it was rumoured that his restaurant, La Côte d’Or, was going to lose its maximum three-star rating.

And that was just a couple of snail-serving eateries losing a gold star (which, by the way, DrHGuy earned by the gross in elementary school) awarded in a advertising brochure put out by a tire company.


Michelin Man


Imagine the embarrassment Very Very Good Girl would face were she downsized to merely Very Good Girl or the horrifying shame that would follow were she stripped of both “Very’s” to become no more than a mere Good Girl. How would she handle her upcoming nuptials, walking down an aisle knowing the audience on either side would be aware of her loss of status? Some of the rowdier, self-righteous sorts in attendance would, no doubt, hurl invectives or make rude jokes about her. Would the marriage even come off if she were damaged goods?

Astute readers may now well be thinking, “Hey, isn’t Very Very Good Girl is getting married? No wonder she hasn’t sent that Thank You note. Give her a break.” DrHGuy’s response to that argument is to call ones attention to the point that the Thank-Youless gifts in question were Christmas gifts. Consequently, subjugating the completion of a Thank You card for these gifts to the planning of and preparing for her own wedding would, far from attenuating VVGG’s guilt, magnify and intensify it since she would be be, in effect, holding herself and her wedding more important than the birthday of Baby Jesus.


The Easter Miracle

There is, DrHGuy is glad to report, a happy ending. Just as the Heck of a Guy machinery was being put in motion to pronounce judgment on and penalize VVGG, the long awaited Thank You card arrived, belated but gracious as always.

DrHGuy is nothing if not forgiving and, indeed, rejoices that he can now, in good faith, dismantle the tribunal and return VVGG to her rightful place in the elite Double Very Good class.2



Footnotes


  1. To clarify, yes, the Duke of Derm’s full designation is properly “Duke of Derm at Duke” but that term is not only an awkward construct but also forms an unfortunate acronym, the Duke of Derm having little desire to be known as DoDaD. ~back~
  2. In fact, DrHGuy is awarding a special Easter bonus pardon and will not let on that his feelings are hurt by the email received from Very Very last night, which included this declaration.
    Our moment of celebrity came this week when we checked our wedding photographers blog [in regard to their just-taken engagement pictures] and saw our own faces looking back at us!! Needless to say we had to share our famousness with our families.

    “Moment of celebrity?” How soon they forget. Very Very Good Girl and her beau, SportsBizPro, have, after all been featured in posts over the past nine months in another blog - this one, in fact - earning VVGG some small notoriety as THE #1 Very Very Good Girl listed in Google. If all that is forgotten in the excitement of being the focus of a posting on a photographer’s blog - a photographer who, by the bye, charges for her work (and what’s this about engagement pictures?) while DrHGuy offers his humble services as a freebie - well, DrHGuy understands; he understands exactly. Not that DrHGuy minds being taken for granted, of course. He’s used to it. Don’t worry about him. He’ll be just fine. ~back~

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Whispering Sweet Nothings In God’s Ears

Filed under: Bagatelles | By DrHGuy | March 17, 2008 at 8:36 pm

About once every 3 or 4 months, I email a friend, whom I haven’t seen in person in years. about a mundane point medical point; the following is an excerpt from the end of one such email exchange.

DrB: Hope all is well, and that this interminable winter will end soon.

DrHGuy: From your lips to God’s ears. Hmmm. That phrase, I just now realize, has significant sexual connotations. More to the point, those connotations never occurred to me before I applied the phrase to you and God. That must be significant, but … well, God knows.

DrB: You’re right!

Probably an esoteric Tantric ritual, or that Sons of God and the Daughters of Men thing. Or alien giant half breeds or half giant alien breeds or what’s next.

But, you never know if it is really G*d’s ear or that of a pretentious, possibly semi-fallen tricky seraphim, cherubim, throne, dominion, virtue, power, principality, or archangel. Or God forbid, Beelzebub, Belial, Mephistopheles, Moloch one of their ilk. Or worse Golem, and not the cool one in Lord of the Rings either, but THE REAL DEAL!

DrHGuy: Ya know, maybe this is one of those God helps those who help themselves - without whining - things, and maybe we can tolerate this weather a little longer after all.

DrB: Stay strong



The worrisome part is that neither of us found anything atypical about this exchange.

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It’s (Still) The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Filed under: Bagatelles | By DrHGuy | February 14, 2008 at 12:00 am



The Post-Christmas Letdown

Did you have a good time the past holiday season? Did you party hearty, sing carols,