Category Archives: HOAG Site

DrHGuy & The Duchess Have Business In Reno

The Duchess is speaking at a conference in The Biggest Little City In The World.  Consequently, DrHGuy will be away for a few days as he fulfills his role as Duchess’s Consort, and Heck Of A Guy posting is likely to be sporadic, sparse, or altogether absent until next week.

1HeckOfAGuy.com, Sometimes A Moving Experience, Is Now Experiencing A Move

Passing Through

I am currently completing the optimistically titled “Final Checklist” before actually moving the Heck Of A Guy site to a new host. Consequently, no new postings are anticipated until the transition is complete.

Credit Due Department: I found the marvelous photo atop this post in 2008 (when I previously posted it for another sort of move) at a site that didn’t credit its source (a favor I’ll return now by not listing the site that ripped it off without attribution) but did hot-link to it. That source was Mirage.Studio.7, a slick architectural blog, subtitled “Architecture is poetry,” which properly credits TESSELLAR, a blog promoting “a new method of subdividing land for housing [that] produces better social, environmental and aesthetic outcomes, and in a way that also uses land more efficiently. In the series of blogs below, is an introduction to Tessellation Planning.” Tessellar notes that the photo was taken by Rahmat Othman and accompanies an article in the New Straits Times, 15 August 2007, which explains, Farmer Abu Hassan Ahmad was so attached to his home; he decided to take the whole house with him when he had to move. ‘We had lived in the old site for more than 20 years, but now we want to be closer to my mother-in –law to take care of her.” The 56 year old farmer said several village elders got about 150 villagers to help with the big move. Besides helping to carry the house half a kilometer to the new site, the villagers also took part in a “gotong-royong” (communal working together) to clear the land at the new location. It took an hour to move the house.1

  1. For a comparable community effort, read about the miracle of the Le Mans extrication at The Great Ozark Folk Festival Flood of 1973: The Finale []

How To Be Popular Online: Ketchup & Kink

How To Be Popular: Flaunt Mastery Of Ketchup Science

For the past several days, the most frequently visited Heck Of A Guy post – by a wide margin – has had nothing to do with Leonard Cohen. Nor did it center on Allison Crowe (or any other musician),  family members, friends, photography, or any of the topics regularly featured on this site.

The most popular piece on this site has instead been a June 30th, 2006 posting, Ketchup Decantation – The Definitive Report, which was then and is still the go-to online article for information about dispensing ketchup from glass bottles.


It turns out that batches of folks who read 5 Scientific Explanations Behind Everyday Nuisances at Cracked.com felt it worth their while to also click on the link in the final paragraph:

While there is no shortage of tips and how-tos on the subject, they tend to range from useless common sense stuff (“Do it carefully”) to mad scientist levels of lunacy that involve bendy straws, manual dexterity and an uncanny immunity to the public scorn of fellow diners.

Yep, a  link on a Cracked.com post referring to the use of bendy straws as a solution to overcome thixotropic1 forces operating on bottled ketchup triggered enough unique page-views to nearly double the cumulative hits of all other Heck Of A Guy entries.

There may be a message in that, albeit one I am unable – or unwilling – to articulate.

How To Be Perpetually Popular: Flaunt Mastery Of Kinky Sex

The second most popular single post over the same few days (and perhaps the most reliably popular post ever published at Heck Of A Guy)  has been  13 Mistakes To Avoid When Selecting A Safeword For BDSM Play, a satiric piece subtitled Subs Say The Funniest Things.

I am  pretty sure what the message is in this case.

Two examples from A Sub’s Suboptimal Safe Words follow:

8. ” ” It didn’t work for Prince and it won’t work for you.

12. Some words and terms just don’t fit the context. For example,
• “Hamiltonian-Federalist Jeffersonian-Republican Alignment”
• “Willing suspension of disbelief”
• “Bernoulli’s Principle”
• Any phrase which includes the words “butterfly” or “unicorn.”
• Anything in the form of a rhyming couplet
• Almost all scripture from the New Testament (yes, even the modern translations)

13 Mistakes To Avoid When Selecting A Safeword For BDSM Play does, by the way, share one trait with Heck Of A Guy Leonard Cohen pieces – the safeword piece and Heck Of A Guy Cohen posts are regularly ripped off without attribution. 2

  1. Thixotropy is The property exhibited by certain gels (in this case, ketchup, of becoming fluid when stirred or shaken and returning to the semisolid state upon standing. []
  2. For example,  13 Mistakes To Avoid When Selecting A Safeword For BDSM Play was cut and pasted into Melting Honey two months ago, garnering 144 responses while avoiding the hassles of performing any original work or crediting the the author (which would be me). []

DrHGuy Is Outta Here Until June 4, 2012

The usual suspects – Duke of Derm, Princess of Peds, Lord of Leisure, Hippie With Tiara, the Duchess, and I – are Hilton Headed for our annual tri-family vacation.  Routine posting will resume June 4, 2012.

99 Boxes Of Books On The Wall – We Wish

Books, Books, Books, Books, …

Later this morning the Duchess of Durham and I will take delivery of the 99 (yes, we counted – twice) boxes of unsorted books that have been in storage in Chicago the past five years.

These represent the remains of the library previously housed at a former, much larger domicile. A portion of the upstairs section of that library can be seen below in the background of my demonstration of the dismount from the walker to which I was chained while recovering from a broken hip.1

Dismount From Pommel Walker

Dismount From Pommel Walker

Vs Shelves

We calculate we have enough empty shelf space to accommodate about two-thirds of those volumes.

The Consequences

I hope to resume less bookish postings in the next two or three days.

  1. See Walkernastics – The Walker Dismount []

DrHGuy Presents The Liebster Awards

The Liebster Blog Awards

Yesterday’s post acknowledged that Da Bear from the outstanding Bearly Rambling site bestowed upon Heck Of A Guy the prestigious Liebster Blog Award, earning DrHGuy the opportunity and the duty to designate and anoint the next five winners.

The full set of Liebster Blog Award regulations follow:

  1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog.
  2. Link back to the blogger who awarded you.
  3. Copy & paste the blog award on your blog.
  4. Reveal your 5 blog picks.1
  5. Let them know you chose them by posting on their blog.

The Winners

Note: I eliminated from contention all those sites that do not behave like blogs.  So, while frequently I check, for example, LeonardCohenForum, LeonardCohenFiles, Speaking Cohen, Leonard Cohen Halls of Fame, The French Leonard Cohen Site, and similar locations, they do not function like blogs and weren’t considered for a Liebster Blog Award.

  1. Allison Crowe: Allison Crowe’s official site not only offers information, videos, and music about the next Canadian singer-songwriter but not infrequently issues a shout-out to other artists that have left an impression on Ms Crowe, including Leonard Cohen. In any case, Adrian du Plessis, who serves both as Allison’s personable manager and webmaster of the site writes prose that is entertaining, informed, and, on occasion, not unlike pirate lingo.
  2. Arlene’s Leonard Cohen Scrapbook: Arlene Dick is not only a fine reporter and videographer but  also an incredibly astute and pithy blogger. Her posts are smart, well written, and idiosyncratically insightful.
  3. Celebrate Your Inner Fabiola!  and View From A Farmhouse Window Too: Mary Wilson is an artist who blogs as “Mary” and as “Fabiola,” each of whom claim the other is her alter ego. She also performs more hard labor than any three men I know, routinely drives and maintains construction and farm equipment, and is one of the smartest people I’ve met. She writes about getting through the day on an isolated farm with grace, style, and wit.
  4. Current Cohen: Current Cohen is the gateway to Hermitage Prisoner’s (aka Roman Gavrilin) Holy Cyber-Cohen  Empire, which includes Cohenscope,  (a sophisticated but easy to use tool with links to and feeds from high quality sources of timely information pertinent to the work of Leonard Cohen), Abstractor Of The Quintessence (collects of artistic work, ranging from dance to videography to satiric verse to painting, based on, inspired by, or responding to Leonard Cohen’s music, poetry, and prose), Leonard Cohen Goes Commercial (a video collection of more than 40 TV ads that employ Leonard Cohen’s music or Leonard Cohen himself), and Old Ideas (the pre-release history of the 12th studio album by Leonard Cohen. From Summer 2011 rumors to January 2012 updates)
  5. Sweet Cottage Charm: Judy Green’s impressively eclectic site focuses on her amazing photography but also features crafts, architecture, and, yes, a Leonard Cohen post or two. It is a delight.
  1. The policy indicates that blogs selected should have fewer than 200 followers, but this appears to be uniformly ignored. []