Category Archives: HOAG Site

DrHGuy Is Going Away For A While

DrHGuy is leaving town and blog for a bit.  This will be the final post at Heck Of A Guy until his return at a date to be announced.

DrHGuy Installs New Machinery – Delays Expected

Heck Of A Guy Posts Delayed During Computer Replacement

While love may be the only engine of survival, blogging also requires a working computer. While I set up the latest in a long line of computers that began with the Kaypro II1 in the early 1980s, the frequency of posting will range from zilch to sparse.

Photos, reports, recordings, posters, and the other artifacts received from readers and correspondents will be published but may well be delayed.

I do have some extra help just now, but only until soundcheck.

Credit Due Department: The glorious “Frankenstein Steampunk” computer was built by Dana Mattocks; many more photos of this 8 feet tall, 400 pounds machine can be viewed at his Flickr set.  The photo of the Kaypro II and its specs were found at the aptly named Old Computers site. The shot of the mechanic is something I put together for a Jan 2009 post, Leonard Cohen’s Day Job – It’s The Funny Leonard Cohen Parody.

  1. Kaypro II specs:

    Released: 1982
    Price: US $1595.
    Weight: 26 lbs
    CPU: Zilog Z80, 2.5 MHz
    RAM: 64K
    Display: 9″ green phosphor screen.
    24 X 80 text only
    Ports: Serial port
    Parallel port
    Storage: Two internal 5-1/4″
    SS-DD 195K drives
    OS: CP/M, SBASIC

    []

DrHGuy & The Duchess Have Business In Reno

The Duchess is speaking at a conference in The Biggest Little City In The World.  Consequently, DrHGuy will be away for a few days as he fulfills his role as Duchess’s Consort, and Heck Of A Guy posting is likely to be sporadic, sparse, or altogether absent until next week.

1HeckOfAGuy.com, Sometimes A Moving Experience, Is Now Experiencing A Move

Passing Through

I am currently completing the optimistically titled “Final Checklist” before actually moving the Heck Of A Guy site to a new host. Consequently, no new postings are anticipated until the transition is complete.

Credit Due Department: I found the marvelous photo atop this post in 2008 (when I previously posted it for another sort of move) at a site that didn’t credit its source (a favor I’ll return now by not listing the site that ripped it off without attribution) but did hot-link to it. That source was Mirage.Studio.7, a slick architectural blog, subtitled “Architecture is poetry,” which properly credits TESSELLAR, a blog promoting “a new method of subdividing land for housing [that] produces better social, environmental and aesthetic outcomes, and in a way that also uses land more efficiently. In the series of blogs below, is an introduction to Tessellation Planning.” Tessellar notes that the photo was taken by Rahmat Othman and accompanies an article in the New Straits Times, 15 August 2007, which explains, Farmer Abu Hassan Ahmad was so attached to his home; he decided to take the whole house with him when he had to move. ‘We had lived in the old site for more than 20 years, but now we want to be closer to my mother-in –law to take care of her.” The 56 year old farmer said several village elders got about 150 villagers to help with the big move. Besides helping to carry the house half a kilometer to the new site, the villagers also took part in a “gotong-royong” (communal working together) to clear the land at the new location. It took an hour to move the house.1

  1. For a comparable community effort, read about the miracle of the Le Mans extrication at The Great Ozark Folk Festival Flood of 1973: The Finale []

How To Be Popular Online: Ketchup & Kink

How To Be Popular: Flaunt Mastery Of Ketchup Science

For the past several days, the most frequently visited Heck Of A Guy post – by a wide margin – has had nothing to do with Leonard Cohen. Nor did it center on Allison Crowe (or any other musician),  family members, friends, photography, or any of the topics regularly featured on this site.

The most popular piece on this site has instead been a June 30th, 2006 posting, Ketchup Decantation – The Definitive Report, which was then and is still the go-to online article for information about dispensing ketchup from glass bottles.


It turns out that batches of folks who read 5 Scientific Explanations Behind Everyday Nuisances at Cracked.com felt it worth their while to also click on the link in the final paragraph:

While there is no shortage of tips and how-tos on the subject, they tend to range from useless common sense stuff (“Do it carefully”) to mad scientist levels of lunacy that involve bendy straws, manual dexterity and an uncanny immunity to the public scorn of fellow diners.

Yep, a  link on a Cracked.com post referring to the use of bendy straws as a solution to overcome thixotropic1 forces operating on bottled ketchup triggered enough unique page-views to nearly double the cumulative hits of all other Heck Of A Guy entries.

There may be a message in that, albeit one I am unable – or unwilling – to articulate.

How To Be Perpetually Popular: Flaunt Mastery Of Kinky Sex

The second most popular single post over the same few days (and perhaps the most reliably popular post ever published at Heck Of A Guy)  has been  13 Mistakes To Avoid When Selecting A Safeword For BDSM Play, a satiric piece subtitled Subs Say The Funniest Things.

I am  pretty sure what the message is in this case.

Two examples from A Sub’s Suboptimal Safe Words follow:

8. ” ” It didn’t work for Prince and it won’t work for you.

12. Some words and terms just don’t fit the context. For example,
• “Hamiltonian-Federalist Jeffersonian-Republican Alignment”
• “Willing suspension of disbelief”
• “Bernoulli’s Principle”
• Any phrase which includes the words “butterfly” or “unicorn.”
• Anything in the form of a rhyming couplet
• Almost all scripture from the New Testament (yes, even the modern translations)

13 Mistakes To Avoid When Selecting A Safeword For BDSM Play does, by the way, share one trait with Heck Of A Guy Leonard Cohen pieces – the safeword piece and Heck Of A Guy Cohen posts are regularly ripped off without attribution. 2

  1. Thixotropy is The property exhibited by certain gels (in this case, ketchup, of becoming fluid when stirred or shaken and returning to the semisolid state upon standing. []
  2. For example,  13 Mistakes To Avoid When Selecting A Safeword For BDSM Play was cut and pasted into Melting Honey two months ago, garnering 144 responses while avoiding the hassles of performing any original work or crediting the the author (which would be me). []

DrHGuy Is Outta Here Until June 4, 2012

The usual suspects – Duke of Derm, Princess of Peds, Lord of Leisure, Hippie With Tiara, the Duchess, and I – are Hilton Headed for our annual tri-family vacation.  Routine posting will resume June 4, 2012.