Christine Geyer has been scouting out the venue and preparations  for the Leonard Cohen Concert in Wiesbaden and has generously shared the outstanding results  of her efforts.

Click on thumbnail for full image

While Dr. Heck is busy for a few days, he will act as his locum (One Heck of a Virtual Guy). ²

Bernard has been properly aware of Leonard Cohen for far too short a time, and feels that he ought to apologise, but isn’t going to let that stop him talking about it.³ His intimates understand that nothing stops him talking, not even breathing in. He is thinking of intersecting with the World Tour before Leonard leaves Europe, and worrying about his credit status.

He lives in Lichfield,⁴ believes that he is a reincarnation of Eeyore, and wears his hair long to conceal his ears. ⁵ A modified clone of Zippy the Pinhead, he is fond of saying things like “I want to raise BLISTERS of JOY on your INTIMATE FLESH.”⁶

Close inspection of the picture above will reveal that:

1. careful framing and positioning of his head has concealed almost all the boxes of books;
2. he still hasn’t bought a shade for that horrible compact fluorescent lamp;
3. he forgot to close the door;
4. he hasn’t worked out how to make that shirt look blue without making his hair look purple;
5. he aches in the places where he used to play;
6. he has avoided looking foolish, but has not yet succeeded in appearing menacingly unbalanced.

He contributes here as HammerOfTheWelsh, for reasons of ancient history, and can be reached as Hammer Of The Welsh @ gmail . com (without the spaces).
He can occasionally be overheard (in various places) intimidating others as “Arnold the Frog.” Accept no imitations, if only because this is the safest
way of not accepting the original either.

He welcomes responses to his postings, because it gives him a choice between loftily ignoring them or writing back until the questioner lapses into unconsciousness.

He is in no way responsible for the foregoing, none of which is my own work.

Oops.

1. He develops firmware for instrumentation and control systems. Why are you reading the footnotes?
2. It is hoped that he will have only limited contact with Dr. Heck’s patients during this time.
3. Nor indeed will it make him apologise
4. No, not the one with a Lineage. This Lichfield was briefly made an archiepiscopal see after an early astroturfing campaign by Offa. Nevertheless, Bernard is not now, and has never been, an archbishop. He has a redemption value of 0.01p.
5. Nothing he touches turns to gold.
6. He finds this a useful way to filter potential sexual partners: or, at least, a powerfully simplifying one.

Leonard Cohen - Born In Chains, Florence (screenshot)

Florence Performance Of Leonard Cohen's Born In Chains Features New Introduction

As Heck Of A Guy viewers discovered yesterday from the audio recording offered by BaoTzeBao,¹ Leonard Cohen auditioned a new, longer introduction to “Born In Chains” at yesterday’s concert in Florence.  Now,  just hours after the completion of the show, we have a masterful video of the performance from albertnoonan.

Leonard Cohen – Born in Chains (Florence 9/1/2010)

Video from albertnoonan

1. See Born In Chains – Live From Leonard Cohen Florence Concert Now In Progress

Recorded by BaoTzeBao

Javier Mas solo from "Who By Fire"

Photos by BaoTzeBao

September 1, 2010 Leonard Cohen Florence Concert Kicks Off Final European Leg Of Tour

Tonight’s show in Florence will be the first of 20 or so (the exact number varies with a tentative Warsaw concert being considered) Leonard Cohen World Tour performances throughout Europe ending with the  Bratislava, Slovakia concert on October 13, 2010.

Following a two week break, the Tour takes a final swing through Australia and New Zealand from October 28 to November 24, 2010, which is itself followed by the one-off show in Phnom Penh, Cambodia on November 27, 2010.

The Final – Really, This Time – Leonard Cohen Concert

The most up to date Leonard Cohen World Tour schedule I’ve found is the one at LeonardCohenForum.  The final segment of that calender reads as follows:

4-Dec: to be announced on September 6, presale on September 7
8-Dec: to be announced on September 6, presale on September 7
10 & 11-Dec: to be announced on September 6, presale on September 7

The ever reliable and immaculately accurate Jarkko, posting on August 26, 2010 at LeonardCohenForum, straightforwardly announces that the December 11, 2010 concert will be the Leonard Cohen World Tour finale:

I talked with Leonard in Ghent. This World Tour is really coming to its end (on December 11).

There are no plans for another tour. Leonard will next work on his new album.

If everything goes well, the album may get released in late summer or fall 2011.

Nobody knows what’s going to happen after that.

The Venue Of The Final Leonard Cohen Concert Is …

For one thing, the venue of the final Leonard Cohen Concert is a contender for the worst kept secret ever.

How many people know? Well, if Leonard Cohen wanted to write  a new verse to “Everybody Knows,” he could legitimately refer to the seemingly universal awareness of the site of that December 11, 2010 show.

As evidence of how well known this official secret is, I will admit that even I know where it is. ¹

I should explain that I have not received any official notification about the final shows (other than the “To Be Announced” announcements at LeonardCohenForum, which are displayed above).

I am not, it appears, on the right mailing lists.

I know because, at last count, nine individuals have specifically asked me if I will be attending the final Leonard Cohen concerts at _______.

For reasons admittedly unclear to me, I’m not going to reveal the locations of the final concerts in this post. One explanation, I suppose, is that it’s too easy.  My guess is that at least half of those reading this post themselves know the location, and the others can contact their favorite Cohen fans to find out.  In addition, however, I’ve made it an operational principle of this blog that I would not disclose information given me in private without the specific consent of the source.

In any case, …

On With The Show

1. Actually, I know the final three venues but to bring that up would seem like boasting – unless it’s done in the sanctuary of a footnote.

Photos Of Florence From BaoTzeBao

BaoTzeBao before 2009 Tel Aviv Concert

BaoTzeBao,¹ whom ongoing readers may recall served as Heck Of A Guy Special Envoy for the 2009 Leonard Cohen Tel Aviv Concert, ² has signed on as correspondent for tomorrow’s Leonard Cohen World Tour stop in Florence.

As a prelude to the September 1, 2010 Florence show, our man in Italy offers up views of the city and the preparations for the show.

Click on thumbnail for full image

1. Google translation of BaoTzeBao’s self-description on his web site:  BaoTzeBao (Valerio Flanders) lives with a younger woman (Christian) and an older dachshund (Arthur). E ‘generous, confident, bored, unreliable, educated, irritable. And is (also) Jew. It ‘a good player. It would have been a great publisher (if only it were more committed). He worked (a little) in radio, fur, television, publishing and communication. He writes, speaks, (sings and dances) on different floors and barely visible, en attendant to keep quiet, finally. Fuma la pipa (English mixes), and when it can also cigars (Havana or Tuscan). He likes parentheses.
2. See
   • The Leonard Cohen Tel Aviv Concert – A Personal Report & Perspective
   • After 20 Year Absence, Leonard Cohen To Perform In Israel Today
   • Report, Leonard Cohen Tel Aviv Concert In Progress
   • En Route To The Leonard Cohen Tel Aviv Concert
   • Leonard Cohen Tel Aviv Concert – Photos Of Sold-Out Ramat Gan Stadium
   • Leonard Cohen Arrives In Israel

The Leonard Cohen Information Gateway

Because some readers of Heck Of A Guy  have asked about  its Cohencentric co-conspirator, LeonardCohenSearch, today’s post focuses on that site.

Currently, LeonardCohenSearch offers two primary features: (1) a Search & Directory section and (2) its Best Of Tour pages.

Leonard Cohen Web Directory

The Leonard Cohen Web Directory is a human-composed navigational guide to useful, insightful, entertaining information about Leonard Cohen found on sites throughout the internet.  It includes, for example, annotated links to the Leonard Cohen discography at LeonardCohenFiles, the concordance to  Leonard Cohen’s lyrics at Speaking Cohen, critiques of Cohen’s work from several sources, the Austin Lounge Lizards’ video parody, “Leonard Cohen’s Day Job,” and the occasional Heck Of A Guy humor piece.

Leonard Cohen Custom Search

The idea behind the Leonard Cohen Custom Search Engine is simple: The Google-powered search process that has been altered (customized) to search only specified web sites or, in some cases, specified portions of web sites selected because they contain useful, reliable information about Leonard Cohen, the poet and singer-songwriter.

Limiting searches to only those sites invested in gathering and offering reliable and valid information about Leonard Cohen excludes many potential search hits that are irrelevant (e.g., information pertinent to “Leonard Cohen, the New York accountant” rather than “Leonard Cohen, the singer-songwriter”), inaccurate (e.g., references errantly attributing “Got Yourself A Gun” (the theme to The Sopranos) to Leonard Cohen rather than the rightful authors, Alabama 3), or misleading (e.g., the sleazy use of “Leonard Cohen” as key words to drive visitors to sites selling ringtones or worse).

The results from a well done customized search engine should, compared to those from a general search engine, demonstrate a higher ratio of useful to invalid or counterproductive information, making it easier and faster to find the correct data with less risk of errors contaminating the findings.

The Best Of The Leonard Cohen World Tour

The most popular LeonardCohenSearch feature consists of two pages, Best Of Leonard Cohen World Tour 2008-2009 and Best Of Leonard Cohen World Tour 2010, each dedicated to displaying “Special Photos, Music, Videos, Events, Oddities, & Insights From The Leonard Cohen World Tour.”

On a single web page, one can scroll through videos from the first Leonard Cohen World Tour concert (Fredericton Canada, May 11, 2008) to scenes of the audience hurling blouses on stage during “Closing Time” at the final 2009 concert in San Jose. An analogous page for the 2010 tour includes photos of venues, links to reviews, and more.

Much but not all of the material on the Best Of Tour pages is a distillate of the highlights from Heck Of A Guy posts, all available on a single page.

The Extra Added Attractions

In addition to these major components, LeonardCohenSearch offers a grab bag of delectations for Cohen fans.

Links to the major Leonard Cohen site are available on every page.

And, when available, links to the most recent posts from these sites are shown.

A sidebar box  displays a selection from a database of 200+ Leonard Cohen quotes.

Tweet On A Wire is a continuous Twitter search for items concerning Leonard Cohen.

Leonard Cohen - Born In Chains Odense (screenshot)

Recent Performances Of “Feels So Good,” “Darkness,” and “Born In Chains” Available For Download

MP3 files of selected performances of “Feels So Good,”  “The Darkness,” and “Born In Chains”  from the 2010 Leonard Cohen World Tour are now online. Note: These MP3 files were converted from videos shot from the audience.

To download,

1. Right-click on the links corresponding with the song versions you prefer and then choose “Open link in new window” or “Open link in new tab” to open the download service pages in new windows or tabs (left clicking on the links may open the download service pages in this same window; in that case, click the “Back” arrow on your browser to return to this post):

Available For The First Time:

• Feels So Good – Helsinki 8/10/2010
• Feels So Good -  Odense  8/14/2010
• Born In Chains – Gothenburg
• Born In Chains – Stockholm
• Born In Chains – Odense
• The Darkness – Ghent
• The Darkness – Stockholm

2010 Versions From Earlier Posts:

• Feels So Good – Salzburg (originally posted at Leonard Cohen Performs New Version Of “Feels So Good” At Salzburg Concert)
• Feels So Good – Lissadell House (originally posted at “Feels So Good” By Leonard Cohen – Updated Lyrics And Videos)
• Born In Chains – Salzburg.mp3 (originally posted at Improved MP3 Of “Born In Chains” Now Available)

2. On the download service pages that open, click on this image:

Then choose “Save File.”

3. Most of these files are downloaded as “[name of song] – [venue name].mp3.”

4. The files can be used in iPods and other MP3 players. The appropriate tags (title, artist, etc) and art should display automatically when the files are loaded into an MP3 program such as iTunes. (Not all players handle tags the same way; your mileage may vary.) The files can also be burned onto a CD.

Links Repaired To Three New Songs Posts

After a reader alerted me that the MP3 download links for the “”Three New Songs From The Leonard Cohen World Tour” summary posts were broken, I re-uploaded  those early versions of “Feels So Good,” “Lullaby,” and “The Darkness,” and repaired the links to the download pages.

Now, the downloads associated with these November 2009 posts are again functional:

• Three New Songs From The Leonard Cohen World Tour –”Feels So Good” AKA “The Other Blues Song”
• Three New Songs From The Leonard Cohen World Tour – “Lullaby”
• Three New Songs From The Leonard Cohen World Tour – “The Darkness”

On The Road Jacket 1st Offering From New Leonard Cohen “Feels So Good” Clothing Line

While Heck Of A Guy New & Improved Merchandise clothing products have been limited to concert apparel such as caps and  t-shirts (for example, the “I unified heart Leonard Cohen” and “Leonard Cohen’s Back – 2010″ shirts shown below), negotiations with the Leonard Cohen organization to extend the line to sportswear have resulted in the formation of the new  Feels So Good by Leonard Cohen label.

The inspiration for the decision to focus on foul weather gear as the initial item for the new label can be discerned from the code name for the effort – The Weybridge Project.

The Leonard Cohen Weybridge Concert

The Feels So Good Ad Campaign

Perceptive fans may have noticed that, of the four new songs played in concerts during the Leonard Cohen World Tour, “Feels So Good” has been performed most frequently and with the greatest variety of lyrics. It can now be revealed that this music is the keystone of the Feels So Good by Leonard Cohen marketing strategy. Audiences can, in fact, expect more directly commercial versions although thus far Mr Cohen has resisted DrHGuy’s suggested opening lines:

Feels so good
Not to wear that other crap, …

New & Improved Leonard Cohen Merchandise

Information about the origin of the Heck Of A Guy Leonard Cohen World Tour merchandising effort as well as descriptions of other Leonard Cohen promotional items developed by Heck Of A Guy can be found at

• The Heart With A Companion T-shirt
• Venue-appropriate Headgear
• The Leonard Cohen Bobble Head
• The WWLCD? T-shirt
• More Dino Duds & Len’s Beach Towel
• The “I (Unified) Heart Leonard Cohen” T-shirt
• Leonard Cohen’s Back For 2010 T-shirt
• Leonard Cohen & The Sweet Smell Of Indifference

Credit Due Department: A tip of the not-yet-new-&-improved Cohen fedora to Christine for discovering this image of the jacket-clad singer-songwriter icon and to Tim for alerting Heck Of A Guy to its mercantile  potential.