Heck Of A Guy

A pastiche of posts, featuring song, dance, snappy chatter plus notes on prose, poesy, love, lust, life, and beyond

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Corrections, Emendations, Additions, and Explanations

May 13th, 2008 · Comments Off

1. The Very Very Good Girl - SportsBizPro Nuptial Quiz

One of the choices for this multiple choice photo-based query was inadvertently omitted. Fans of Lily Tomlin and the University of Missouri will recognize the reference immediately but the image should be clear to most folks. The option has been added to the original post and is displayed in bold font below.

In this post-wedding photo of Very Very Good Girl, she is

A. Dancing with exuberance and abandon
B. Shimmying out of her gown with exuberance and abandon
C. Demonstrating the overhead, two-handed throw used to inbound the ball in soccer with exuberance but not so much abandon
D. Posing as the model for a hood ornament
E. Performing the Antler Dance, which she chose for the Bride and Groom First Dance
F. Completing the toss of the bridal bouquet, causing the assembled unmarried women, ostensibly gathered to catch the flowers, to scatter in terror as though the floral arrangement were a live hand grenade.

2. Happy Birthday, Judy Collins - and Thanks

Included in this post was Leonard Cohen’s story of being introduced to Judy Collins for the first time:

[Cohen:] A friend of mine introduced me to Judy Collins. I went to her house and sang her a couple of songs that didn’t interest her and she said to me “Come back if you have something I might like.” A few months later after having finished “Suzanne”, I called her from Montreal and sang it to her on the phone. She wanted to sing it right away. Mary Martin, who became my manager, called John Hammond, who knew Judy Collins’ record company. He took me to lunch near the Chelsea Hotel and asked me to sing a few tunes. He said “You got it!”, I could start to record a record. …

I received an email from an “anonymous fan of Judy Collins,” politely pointing out that Judy Collins tells the story differently. Her version, which she has consistently reported since the time of her songbook in 1969 (a memory confirmed by Jac Holzman in Follow the Music), is that Cohen sang a couple of songs and she (Collins) then recorded Suzanne and Dress Rehearsal Rag almost immediately rather than instructing Cohen to come back when he had something she might like.

In addition, this fan noted that Collins “also recorded dozens of Cohen’s songs and is his biggest, if that is possible, fan.”

While I initially felt the differences between the stories was of modest significance, I now think adding the Judy Collins version to the original post is worthwhile because the implications of the fact that the incident is remembered differently are themselves interesting, and it was, after all, a post celebrating Judy’s birthday.

On the other hand, I am at fault for not elaborating on the extensive support that Judy Collins provided for Cohen, especially when he was making the transition from poet to singer. My only defense - and it’s inadequate - is that most regular readers of my posts are Cohen fans who know about the role Judy played in his career. I do occasionally forget that not everyone who, for example, finds one of my entries via Google, is aware of such background. I should know better.

3. Why The 2008 Leonard Cohen World Tour Is Opening In Fredericton

An impassioned but anonymous comment and a couple of emails objected to my self-labeled “guess” that one reason Leonard Cohen’s Tour opened in a series of smaller venues was to work out any kinks in the new show before moving to stadiums and other stages with larger audience capacity.

The writers seemed to object primarily to my characterization of towns like Fredericton as “small venues” and to my likening them to “off-Broadway” in the theater world. I don’t think that either of those terms qualify as insults.

Defining “small venue’ seems an arithmetic function. The Fredericton Playhouse has a capacity of just over 700. Compared to a stadium holding thousands, that seems to me to be a small venue.

The nearest theater to my home with live performances turns out to be about the same size (800 seats) as the Playhouse.1 I would describe it as small venue as well, although I note that most theaters of this size preferentially use the euphemism “intimate” instead of “small” in their marketing.

If Leonard Cohen has opened his tour here, I am certain that, after I recovered from the shock, I would write an much more sardonic and much nastier post, if only because I know a lot more about the flaws of this area than I know about Eastern Canada.

And, contrary to some of my correspondents, I feel “Off-Broadway” connotes an avant-garde, cutting edge approach to theater as well as a certain sophistication. But what do I know? Let’s check the American Theater Guide’s take on “off-Broadway:

By the 1960s Off-Broadway theatres were often providing much of the most exciting theatre in New York. Among the notable producing groups were the Circle in the Square, La Mama, the Living Theatre Company, the Negro Ensemble Company, the Phoenix Theatre, and the New York Shakespeare Festival. Many playwrights, such as Beckett, Genet, and the Americans Sam Shepard and A. R. Gurney Jr., have been presented in New York almost solely in Off-Broadway houses, and several playwrights, such as Tennessee Williams, announced a preference for Off Broadway after their later plays were not well received uptown.

Well, how about the Britannica Concise Encyclopedia:

The term was first used to refer to experimental plays produced on low budgets in small theatres, which provided an alternative to the commercially oriented Broadway theatres. Off-Broadway theatres grew in quality and importance after 1952, with the success of José Quintero’s productions. Plays by Edward Albee, Sam Shepard, and Lanford Wilson were first produced off Broadway, as were avant-garde works by Eugène Ionesco, Samuel Beckett, and Harold Pinter. Many new plays are now staged in well-equipped Off-Broadway houses, and Off-Broadway theatre has its own set of awards, the Obies. As production costs increased, smaller and more experimental theatres emerged; these were quickly labeled Off-Off-Broadway.

Yep, I can certainly see why that would rile some folks.

Perhaps the point is that - even if my speculation is accurate - opening a tour in showplaces that are smaller more intimate doesn’t negate the other attractions of those locations.

I once knew a woman who was attractive, witty, and smart, but her most powerful skill was the capacity to convince every male within within sight (and some who weren’t) that she was focused exclusively on him. This phenomenon was not dependent on explicit or implicit declarations from her and it took place even among those of us who observed it happening to others. If her attentions seemed to turn to one guy, the rest of us would immediately console ourselves with “That poor schmuck. He actually believes that she is interested in him.”

Well, Leonard Cohen is a bit like that. Those of us who are fans all want him to love us or our town or our interests the best. And sure enough, if one meets him, sees him at a concert, receives an email from him, or has any contact with him, it is overwhelmingly clear that Leonard Cohen thinks that person is someone special, that there is a resonance shared between them that is unique and wonderful.

I suspect that pointing out any possible motivation for Cohen being kind to a visitor, grateful to an audience, or gracious to a blogger other than a kinship of souls invites such protests. As far as I can determine, Cohen is genuinely fond of almost all his concert sites, especially the Canadian locations. He often, in fact, points out a special literary, political, or personal connection with the places he plays.

The problem is that Cohen being fond of a city may not be sufficient for some folks. Everyone wants to be #1 and every audience wants to be Leonard Cohen’s favorite.

It’s not just audiences. Watch or read a few Cohen interviews. Journalists fall over themselves to make it clear to readers and viewers that their relationship with him supersedes and transcends the connection between reporter and subject.

The same process, by the way, goes on in large venues. In Best Hook For Leonard Cohen 2008 Tour Schedule Announcement, I wrote about …2

The Jingoism Hook

On the other hand, the list of concert sites is a genuinely fresh addition to the available facts. Moreover, it is a data domain that enables the emergence of gloriously chauvinistic provincialism. The blurb from The Canadian Press is instructive:

Leonard Cohen announces world tour after hall of fame induction
Hot on the heels of his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Leonard Cohen has announced a world tour. It’s being hyped as the first time the Montreal-born performer takes to the live arena in 15 years. Cohen, who was inducted into the hall of fame Monday night in New York City, will kick off the tour June 6 and 7 at Toronto’s Sony Centre for the Performing Arts. He’ll give three shows at the Montreal International Jazz Festival on June 23, 24 and 25 at Place des arts. He’s expected to play Europe for the rest of the summer.

This piece has a couple of the essentials, the reference to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction and the 15 year gap since the last tour.3

The article goes on to list the dates and specific venues of the five Canadian performances, appending as an afterthought the wonderfully nonspecific and even a bit skeptical comment “He’s expected to play Europe for the rest of the summer.”4

I suspect only the civility and and tact seemingly inherent to Canadians prevented a final paragraph on the lines of “And he won’t be appearing anywhere in the United States. Suck on that, Yanks. Nanner, nanner, nanner.”

The first lines of the Globe and Mail article, Cohen tour his first in 15 years, are equally revealing:

He may be Montreal’s man, but Toronto might just be his mistress.Iconic Canadian singer-songwriter and poet Leonard Cohen has revealed plans for his first proper tour in 15 years, and it kicks off in Toronto, at the Sony Centre for the Performing Arts, on June 6 and 7. And it’s not the first time the cloistered Cohen has picked Toronto for a comeback.

So, not only is the alliteratively cloistered Cohen an “iconic Canadian singer-songwriter,” he is an “iconic Canadian singer-songwriter” with a special connection to one particular Canadian city - Toronto - where the Globe and Mail is the hometown paper.

The nationalism angle is uniquely appealing in that, by its nature, reverting to pride of place renders the exposition automatically superior to analogous essays originating in other areas. And, this phenomenon is hardly an exclusively Canadian aspect. Heck, if Leonard’s tour had begun - as God surely intended - in Chicago, we would be reading headlines that start with USA! USA! USA! …

Heck, the real problem is how disappointed all these folks are gonna be when they finally realize that Leonard likes me best.

Footnotes

_____________________
  1. I had originally thought the local theater to be smaller and responded to the comment in that belief. I found the correct capacity this morning.
  2. I am quite the equal opportunity insult-dispenser
  3. I’m unclear why the time since the last tour is characterized as being “hyped.” “Hyped” typically indicates an attempt to publicize an element of a story in an exaggerated or misleading manner; the 15 year gap seems to be nothing more or less than simple arithmetic
  4. This classic structure is forever exemplified in the perhaps apocryphal Sunday Post headline, “Titanic Sinks. Dundee Man Drowned!”

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Tags: HOAG Site

The Very Very Good Girl - SportsBizPro Nuptial Quiz

May 4th, 2008 · 1 Comment




The wedding of Very Very Good Girl and SportsBizPro1 took place as planned this weekend. There may well be more discussion of the events, but for tonight I offer one of my favorite scenes from the ceremonies as a pictorial quiz.

In this post-wedding photo of Very Very Good Girl, she is

A. Dancing with exuberance and abandon
B. Shimmying out of her gown with exuberance and abandon
C. Demonstrating the overhead, two-handed throw used to inbound the ball in soccer with exuberance but not so much abandon
D. Posing as the model for a hood ornament
E. Performing the Antler Dance, which she chose for the Bride and Groom First Dance2
F. Completing the toss of the bridal bouquet, causing the assembled unmarried women, ostensibly gathered to catch the flowers, to scatter in terror as though the floral arrangement were a live hand grenade.



Footnotes

_____________________
  1. See I Knew The Bride When She Used To Rock and Roll Heck, I Knew The Bride When She Sang Her ABCs
  2. Added 13 May 2008

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Tags: Fascinations

Matrimonial Music Mix Musings

April 19th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Any problem in the world can be solved by dancing.
- James Brown

I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The Bride’s Mama’s Gonna Dance; Her Dad … Well, Hope Springs Eternal

Much of today was spent in the pursuit of the perfect music mix to be played at the impending nuptials of Very Very Good Girl and SportsBizPro1 during the dinner and the band’s breaks. To assist in this effort, I recruited the lovely and dance-obsessed Lady Lawanda, who is not only musically talented but seems to have been in attendance at every wedding held in Illinois and its bordering states during the past decade.

As readers can discern from the photo atop this post, Lady Lawanda and I found it useful as well as refreshing to occasionally take a break to walk through a few simple dance steps in order to capture a feel for how the songs in a particular concatenation flowed from one to another.

As it turns out, the playlists feel pretty darn good.

We now have tentative playlists that should work well as long as the dinner lasts at least 3.22 hours and no more than two days and the band takes two breaks of 93 minutes each. 2

Dance Lessons

As is usually the case when I take on a new task, traversing the learning curve has resulted in new insights into and observations which I share with you now:

1. Witty dinner repartee is highly overrated. The chances of our civilization surviving and advancing could be greatly enhanced if post-nuptial dinners evolved into hushed affairs with each guest quietly and introspectively pondering, in the musical environment created by the playlist, the significance of the ceremonial bonding of two souls just witnessed. Conversations should be restricted to praise for the exquisite content and precisely on the nose sequence of soundtrack which echoes the conjoint psychosexual development of the bride and groom from birth through their individual resolutions of their (also individual) Oedipal/Electra conflict.

2. An exam on the music at the end of the evening wouldn’t be a bad idea - especially if the scores are posted.

3. Just because every wedding mix I’ve composed has included at least one set of spectacularly lewd lyrics, set to a sweetly melodic tune, explicating the mechanics of one or more perverse sexual acts doesn’t necessarily mean that this wedding mix will be enriched with such a specimen. On the other hand, …

4. A wedding reception dance mix with “too much MoTown?” That’s crazy talk.

Footnotes

_____________________
  1. See I Knew The Bride When She Used To Rock and Roll Heck, I Knew The Bride When She Sang Her ABCs and Very Very Good Girl and SportsBizPro Appoint Music Maven
  2. The songs can, of course, theoretically be aborted at any point - if one disregards the aesthetic integrity of the carefully constructed composite playlist.

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Tags: Fascinations

Wedding Music Maven Appointed By Very Very Good Girl and SportsBizPro

March 29th, 2008 · Comments Off

In response to last Sunday’s post, Crisis Averted At Last Moment - Republic Saved, Very Very Good Girl had two (very very good) comments (#1 and #2), the latter of which included this request:

Would you be willing to compose some play list to use during the reception1 when the band is taking breaks? Your CV for this task was strong to quite strong, with your annual Hilton Head mixes that get better and better. You could even throw in a Leonard Cohen ditty or two.

I am, of course, flattered to be asked2 and happy to accept this responsibility - although I am simultaneously surprised to learn that this key position at the very3 epicenter of the wedding ceremony-reception-honeymoon experience has somehow gone unfilled until now.4

My assumption of this role has also provided an opportunity to try out Mixwit, an online application that allows one to produce a virtual mix tape. As it turned out, Mixwit’s search function lacks the precision necessary for a practical means of auditioning a batch of wedding reception dance tunes. Nonetheless, I’ve set up a few appropriate songs below not only to provide viewers a bit of entertainment for a Saturday afternoon but also to show off the the display that gets my vote for coolest virtual mix tape player yet.




Footnotes

_____________________
  1. For those not familiar with the upcoming premier event of the North Carolina spring social season, the “reception” references the impending nuptials of Very Very Good Girl and SportsBizPro to be wed in May.
  2. I am especially flattered because, my youthful appearance and demeanor notwithstanding, I am actually closer - and this is not a joke - to VVGG’s father’s age than to hers
  3. In this case, “very very”
  4. There is a reason that the aphorism, “Upon the skills and cunning of the writer of the play list (the more precise translation of the original Greek into contemporary English is “sacred creator of the music which governs the universe”) for the wedding band’s break depends the continued existence of civilization, the physiological and spiritual development of children everywhere, and the ultimate significance of college basketball at the Division I level” is passed from generation to generation.

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Tags: Fascinations

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