Tag Archives: Walker

The Most Popular Leonard Cohen Posts At DrHGuy

Leonard Cohen At DrHGuy

As ongoing viewers know, DrHGuy is the quick-witted, energetic, happy go lucky younger sibling of the jocose but prolix, sometimes abstruse Heck of a Guy blog before you now.

DrHGuy  posts typically comprise no more than an image and caption, a quotation, or a brief bit of prose. Many of these 893 entries (as of this morning) are photos of, quotations by, or prose about Leonard Cohen. Of those DrHGuy Leonard Cohen posts, two have proven most popular by a wide margin.

Is “most popular by a wide margin” significant?  Well, consider this: that great photo of  Leonard Cohen on Route 66 (New Mexico 1987)1 atop this post?  That’s the  third most popular Leonard Cohen post at DrHGuy.

The Most Popular Leonard Cohen Photo: Leonard Cohen on train from Marseilles to Nice (1981)

Leonard Cohen on train from Marseilles to Nice (1981)

This photo2 can be found at Leonard Cohen On Train.

The Most Popular Leonard Cohen Quotation: Leonard Cohen’s Five Word Self-description

Q: Pick five words that describe yourself.

A: Oh, The Seven Deadly Sins.

This quote from “Q Questionnaire – Leonard Cohen” (September 1994 Q Magazine) can be found at Leonard Cohen’s Response To “Pick five words that describe yourself”

Other Fine & Dandy Leonard Cohen Posts At DrHGuy

In addition to the shot shown above of a young Leonard Cohen demonstrating his smoke ring blowing skills, one can also check out a photo of the killer lineup of  Elvis Costello, Roscoe Beck, T-Bone Burnett, Jackson Browne, Warren Zevon, & Richard Thompson appearing together at McCabe’s Guitar Shop in Santa Monica in the mid-1980s (from Roscoe Beck – Scrapbook).

Or consider this tres cool photo of Sharon Robinson from Standdart magazine.

There are also entries featuring advice from Leonard Cohen on bondage fantasies, the student passport of the 5’8″, hazel-eyed Leonard Cohen, and the advice the Leonard Cohen who created “Ten New Songs” would give to the Leonard Cohen who created “Song of Leonard Cohen,” (besides “Move To L.A”).

Putting Leonard Cohen In Context At DrHGuy

Leonard Cohen material is indeed very popular at DrHGuy. To put this phenomenon in context, however, the most frequently viewed  DrHGuy post in any category is …

Exposing The Nads By Design, spotlighting  Scrotie (pictured here), the mascot for the Rhode Island School of Design hockey team.3

The DrHGuy  post with the second highest number of hits is this graphic of a fully tricked-out walker4 fashioned by Chris of Galway, Ireland in celebration of his brother’s 40th birthday.

There is, no doubt, a profound message embedded in the relative popularity of these posts. If anyone figures it out, please let me know.

  1. From Les Inrockuptibles Issue # 709 []
  2. From Les Inrockuptibles Issue # 709 []
  3. Scrotie was first featured as part of A Mascot Madness Update, a Heck Of A Guy post. []
  4. The inspiration for Chris’s creation was the Heck of a Guy post, Pimp My Assistive Device. []

Evidence Of Bipedality Discovered In Northern Illinois

Unretouched photograph taken during witnessed performance of bipedalism

Live Demonstration Met With Astonishment

Following the completion of today’s physical therapy session, DrHGuy, fulfilling his father’s oft expressed wish, is standing on his own two feet, his right leg now fully authorized to bear any load not exceeding one-half his body weight.1

To cries of delight from his offspring,2 DrHGuy has – within a single 10 minute period – stood on both feet without assistance of any sort, walked with only moderate support from the walker, and, as prescribed by the perpetually perky Physical Therapist,3 lifted his body toward the heavens by rising on the balls of his feet – not once, not twice, but a total of two sets of ten reps.

Implications

Since shuffling along behind a walker is markedly less onerous and significantly less disruptive to others than hopping madly about on one leg while using the walker as a portable set of parallel bars, DrHGuy is optimistic about the prospect of launching significantly more self-propelled expeditions, especially now that this advancement in locomotive mechanisms has obviated the need for the obsessive internal debate justifying the necessity of the trip and the extensive D-Day level logistical preparations that have marked each such journey over the past two months. He is especially excited about treks to the mens’ room, confident that journey’s end will find him assuming his proper place vis-a-vis the facilities.

And, of course, today’s steps bring DrHGuy within 3-4 weeks of the ultimate goal – mankind’s dream of unassisted solo ambulation.

  1. Readers unaware of the events that led to DrHGuy’s need for physical therapy and his limited use of his right leg may wish to review these previous posts: Sick Call II, Sick Call III, Awaiting Weight-bearing – Still and Walkernastics []
  2. The referenced cheers may, admittedly, have been triggered not only by the Prodigal’s and the Mesomorph’s love and admiration of their paterfamilias but also by their anticipation of a diminishing role as papa’s surrogate legs []
  3. DrHGuy acknowledges that “perpetually perky Physical Therapist,” applied to female Physical Therapists at least, may be considered by some a redundancy []

Sick Call III

The Long Version

The Diagnosis

After two or three weeks of Physical Therapy for a vacation injury initially diagnosed as an adductor strain (aka groin pull), treatment with which DrHGuy was, of course, fully compliant, brought about no symptomatic improvement, a second appointment with the primary physician seemed prudent.

This clinical visit occasioned an x-ray to rule out a hip fracture prior to an anticipated referral to an orthopedic/sports specialist. It required, however, only one glance at the completed X-ray to transform the rule-out into a confirmed diagnosis.

The Treatment – AKA “A Chance To Cut Is A Chance To Cure”

A few minutes after the hip x-ray viewing, the Mesomorph was chauffeuring DrHGuy to the hospital with a referral to an orthopedic surgeon. Quick as a wink,1 DrHGuy was domiciled in a room, ownership of impressive quantities of his bodily fluids transferred to a variety of laboratories, and his signature affixed to multiple pieces of paper which must be read by someone someplace sometime.

Most significantly, he and the surgeon completed a physical examination, review of labs, and a diagnostic interview notable for featuring the refrain “And you continued X’ing (where “X” walk, exercise, riding the recumbent bike, …) on that leg with the broken hip for how many weeks?” as a Greek chorus. Numerous staff seized upon the subsequent opportunity to offer comments to DrHGuy along the lines of “Well, I’ve never seen an order for “Strict Bed Rest” with seventeen underlines and 8 exclamation marks. See that, where the Dr’s pen has ripped through the paper?”

In any case, the expected clinical intervention, surgery to pin the fractured bones, was indeed recommended, and DrHGuy awaited his fate, as ordered, abed.

DrHGuy’s Hospital Wish List

In reconnoitering the scene from his semi-recumbent position, DrHGuy discovered that while the hospital was, in many respects, a fine and dandy place, Internet access is not one of their patient services.

DrHGuy, being email-dependent, was bummed.

Said hospital could also use a spin doctor among its medical specialties. DrHGuy’s first regular meal was this no doubt nutritious nursing home cliché.

Yep, stewed prunes, green gelatin, soggy spinach, stuffing, generic tea, and the other white meat.

Yum.

DrHGuy’s Op and Post-Op Report

Thanks to a some fortuitous cancellations on the O.R. schedule, DrHGuy’s hip pinning became a late morning matinée rather than a special midnight feature.

The Operation
After a couple of whiffs from a mask, DrHGuy found himself gazing at the walls of a recovery room cubicle, his hip well on the road to recovery.

The Post-Op Hospital Stay
The remainder of Friday was a trip to the spa. From that point on, for example, no knives violated DrHGuy’s integumentary integrity, no metallic rods were hammered into the shafts of any of his bones, and no paralyzing chemicals were were introduced into his central nervous system.

And, the dinner delivered that evening not only corresponded to the dinner ordered (roasted chicken) but was both aesthetically pleasing and tasty.

Nor were luxuries withheld. DrHGuy was not, for example, required to make that annoying jaunt to the bathroom; instead, such bodily necessities were executed without leaving the bed with implements emptied by a grateful and worshipful staff.

Why? Because.

The day after the operation, DrHGuy passed along the news to his mother, who had undergone the same procedure a few years previous. Her question had to do with why the hip fracture occurred, a fine query given that there was no traumatic event, and DrHGuy is far, far younger than the modal hip fracture patient.

Well, none of the possible reasons are happy ones. The smart money (i.e., the surgeon’s) is on a lifetime of hypothyroidism leading to osteoporosis, but that’s only a guess, That diagnostic conundrum is DrHGuy’s next medical adventure.

Although DrHGuy’s preference is focusing his worries on long-term, catastrophic problems, just now he is most concerned about how he is going to take a shower with his walker and the lump of dough into which he will transform now that he’s restricted from exercising for 4-6 weeks.

Given that DrHGuy is forbidden to exercise – and he asked about every option in every way until the folks in charge began giving off signals of being miffed – becoming a lump of dough is a given. Diet remains, at least theoretically, under DrHGuy’s control so just how huge a lump of dough he is to become is unknown.

Regardless, underlying disease will just have to wait a bit until DrHGuy can free up enough angst to properly address it.

The Final Discharge Criterion

The final step to discharge was the requirement that DrHGuy demonstrate to Physical Therapy2 that he was capable of locomotion without re-injuring the fracture.

And thus it was that yet another narcissistic defense bit the dust when the young, vivacious Physical Therapist stuck with Saturday inpatient duty suggested that a walker might prove easier to use and more efficient than crutches.

Being of the manly man persuasion, DrHGuy informed the young lady that he would indeed keep an open mind toward both methodologies but frankly saw himself more the injured jock on crutches than the crazy old codger with the walker adorned with a macramé pouch dangling from the crossbar.

That notion persisted for perhaps 3 nanoseconds, which is coincidentally the length of time required to make the preparatory move preceding the preferred swing-through crutch maneuver.

DrHGuy is now aiming toward a less athletic, more dignified man of a certain age image – think Maurice Chevalier with a limp – and a walker.

Walking In the Sunshine, sing a little sunshine song
Put a smile upon your face as if there’s nothing wrong
Think about a good time had a long time ago
Think about forgetting about your worries and your woes
Walking In The Sunshine, sing a little sunshine song3

  1. 1 Healthcare System Wink = 8.5 Earth Hours []
  2. Astute readers will note the ironic symmetry PT provides for this tale []
  3. From Walking In The Sunshine by Roger Miller []

Sick Call II

Recovery Is A Walk In The Park

walker

The Fundamental Info

DrHGuy’s right hip fracture was pinned sometime around noon this Friday past. With the cooperation of the orthopod on weekend call, the hospitalist, an especially competent nursing staff, and the perpetually perky physical therapist assigned to Saturday inpatient duty, our model patient successfully completed the transition from inpatient to outpatient by noon Saturday.

What with the cognitive deficits consequent to the intake of pain pills, the exhaustion that is the cost of portraying a compliant patient, the numb fingers caused by use of the above pictured assistive walking device, and the obligatory family crisis awaiting his return home, DrHGuy is only now returning emails, thinking about the blog, and resuming other elements of the semblance of a normal life.

Heck of a Guy posts may be sparse and sporadic for a few days, and subject matter is likely to focus on orthopedic techniques, hospital food, and wild, sexy nurses.

OK, two out of three isn’t bad.

Besides, who really cares about orthopedic technique?

Obsessively detailed, arguably entertaining account to follow.

A Big Ol’ Special Hunk-O-Gratitude

Thanks to Lady Lawanda for entering the previous post while I was Internet-deprived, transporting me from the hospital, running 3,228 errands for me, and taking care of many, many other details necessary for my survival thus far, giggling only occasionally over my efforts to make nice with my new best friend, Mr. Walker.